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The staff of the Tampa Bay Times

Tampa in August called 'wretched' choice for Republican National Convention

27

February

Looking ahead to this summer's Repubilcan National Convention, Reno News & Review columnist Bruce Van Dyke contends that Tampa -- at least in late August -- is "one of North America's most truly wretched cities."

Van Dyke writes:

If you haven’t heard, our political pachyderms are gonna gather this year from August 27-30 in one of North America’s most truly wretched cities—Tampa, Fla.

Wretched, that is, when you’re talking about late August. ,,, I recently chatted with an old Floridian who lived for years in the Tampa-St. Pete area. she reports that “Tampa in August is basically Hell on Earth.” Meaning, of course, the heat. Meaning the humidity. Especially the bleepity bleep humidity. There are probably more showers taken in the month of August in Tampa than in the other 11 months combined. If we ever send astronauts to Venus, they will likely go to Tampa for late August training.

It would appear that the chances are quite good for delegates from every state west of the mighty Mississip to have at least one moment at the event where they say, “Doggone it, I didn’t bring enough shirts.” Followed quickly by, “I’d like to meet the bleeping chowderhead who gave the green light to have this bash in bleeping Tampa.”

Air-conditioning the Tampa Bay Times Forum will be of such paramount importance, Van Dyke adds, that President Obama should send Navy SEALs to secure the a/c units. Read the whole column here.

[Last modified: Monday, February 27, 2012 12:50pm]

    

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