To all you fans out there--which, technically, amounts to my mother and someone named Richard Guzinya so far--sorry for the lag on posts. I had a wireless card die on me in Minneapolis. But before I launch into fascinating tales of the Betty Crocker kitchens and Native American wild rice harvests, I'd like to pause for a moment to talk about tipping.

I tip 18 or so percent on the total bill, not the pretax total. I never punish a waiter for the kitchen's mistakes; if a restaurant is insanely busy, the server doesn't bear the brunt of my frustrations. I will tell a server when he or she has done a good job, and I will express dissatisfaction as well. Very, very seldom does my tip dip below 15 percent.

But that's just the kids' stuff. Tipping quandaries like this I'm still figuring out:

• You have a drink at the bar, you move your tab to your table (if you tip the bartender 15 percent, then tip the waiter 15 percent, you've tipped twice on the same drinks).
• Free valet parking at a restaurant. What's the standard tip? (This is especially vexing when the restaurant has a huge, no-need-for-valet parking lot in back. Why can't we park our own dang cars?)
• An order-at-the-counter restaurant in which you pick up your food, grab your drink and bus your own table. There's still a line on the bill for tip--do you? On the other hand, how about an order-at-the-counter restaurant where they bring you your meal and you leave all your detritus on the table? Very different scenarios, really.

Then there's non-restaurant tipping:

• You have a wireless card die and the hotel's tech support comes twice and can't fix the problem. Do you tip twice? At all?
• A plumber comes to install something correctly that he had previously installed incorrectly.
• You have your house painted. The painter owns the business, so essentially you're paying him directly. Is tipping expected? Insulting?

Give me your tips on tipping...