The Minnesota State Fair is the second largest in the country (the first, quelle surprise, is Texas). It's ten days and acres and acres of midway rides, 4-Hers running around with celebrity poultry, etc.

If you get a whole bunch of the country's food writers in a bus and you take them to the fair, their pursuit narrows to this:

Foods on a stick.

There were fifty-few items at the fair served in this way, some defying all odds. Here are some of the highlights:

• Corned beef and cabbage on a stick
• Spaghetti and meatball on a stick
• Sloppy joe on a stick
• Pork chop on a stick
• Rocky road scone on a stick
• Coca cola cheesecake dipped in chocolate on a stick

I ate them. Some of them with secret fear and loathing. Still, when all is said and done, they weren't the most notable edibles at the fair. Single best food: cheesecurds, really just lumps of battered and deep-fried cheese, served extra greasy and with ketchup. Single worst: Deep-fried Spam curds (just like the cheesecurds, only the surprise in the center was Spam. Gave me an instant salt/nitrates hangover). Oh, maybe the Spam tied with those KoolAid pickles that seem to be turning up everywhere. Why should a dill pickle be coaxed into tasting like grape KoolAid?