OK, this is weird. Janet Keeler (S. Crazy, to well wishers) and I were just talking about PP. As in, where's he been? As in, check Who's Alive, Who's Dead.

Get this: He was grazed by a bullet yesterday (Tuesday). He was cooking at the TPC golf course in Avondale when, according to deputies, he felt something hit his arm. A .22 caliber bullet then fell from his sleeve.

Folks, it did not penetrate. I repeat: no penetration. That's why the redfish on all of planet Earth still quake at the mention of him. He's hefty, but a badass.

In fact, were it not for lack of opposable thumbs, I'd start wondering about the species of the culprit. It's been downgraded from a shooting to a "complaint," whatever that means.

Photo courtesy Avatar Productions.