My buddy Hank just sent me a link to a Chicago Tribune harangue about menu speak that should be eradicated. Here's a sample:

• "Grilled to perfection"

• "Melt in your mouth"

• "Garden fresh"

For the rest, go here. There's tons of other menu frippery that makes my eyes roll back in my head. "Premium" or other such descriptors that technically mean nothing, "hand cut" as some indication of quality, flame-kissed (in fact, flame-anythinged. Isn't this just grilled?), "blend of special seasonings," waiters that say "how are we enjoying things so far?" or make jokes only to the women at the table about how a particular dessert has no calories.