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Resolve to look good in the gym
Happy New Year! It's 2009! You know what that means? It means you're standing in front of the bathroom mirror pinching back fat, wondering when your life turned into "Big Momma's House 16: Touch My Mint Milanos And I'll Stab You Dead."
I joined the gym after Thanksgiving to correct The Great Gravy Situation of 2008. I hate working out, but I hate dieting more. So in order to avoid turning into that guy from "Se7en" who eats himself to death, this is my fate.
Since returning to the gym, I've learned a few things: Lil' Wayne is a great personal trainer; the interval setting on the elliptical wants to paralyze me; I will never learn to balance on a ball. Also, I've learned how to dress. For all you readers Googling "saddlebags," (you know who you are), here are some fashion tips to compliment your hot-bodied New Year's resolution.
1. Inseam matters: It took one go-round with the hip abductor (for musical theater geeks, "number 17, the spreadeagle") to realize my old school Soffes of Yore wouldn't cut it. I found my fave workout pants at Old Navy for $10. They're knee-length sweatpants -- perfect for the spreadeagle in a gym full of men, but still fitted and adorable.
2. Raccoon eyes: Some people are steadfast opponents of makeup in the gym. While I don't slather on lipstick, I always like to wear mascara. And fact is, you're gonna rub your sweaty face around minute 34 when you start thinking maybe the glutton from "Se7ven" was just "Rubenesque." Waterproof up.
3. "Mommy, why is she spotty?": Heather gray shows every drop of, er, lady glow. To downplay disgusting back sweat, opt for dark shades like black or navy, or super-light like white.
4. Girls in peril: Do yourself a solid and invest in good sports bras. Does this need explaining? Didn't think so. Here's a great about.com article detailing their top ten picks. Like a good Deal Diva, hold out for a sale. For instance, the Lily of France La Technologie bra is marked down to $18 at Kohls. Don't forget off-price staples like TJ Maxx and Ross.
5. Resist the splurge: You don't need to drop $300 at a sporting goods store. Check Target and Walmart for some great activewear on the cheap. Dig through your own stuff. That pile of tank tops you never wear? Consider it your new bicep collection.
You've worked hard. Now it's time for entertainment. I present to you... Number 17 -- the Spreadeagle!
~ Deal Diva Stephanie
Photo: The divine Miss Somers from asseenontv.com, where you can still buy a ThighMaster!
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THE AUTHORS
Stephanie Hayes came out of the womb wearing high heels. While other kids were reciting multiplication tables, she was learning to calculate an extra third off the half-price discount during buy-one-get-one week. She loves animal prints, black mascara and anything that sparkles. She objects to visible panty lines, Crocs and anything that costs more than a car payment. And she doesn't drive a nice car. She can be reached at (727) 893-8857 or shayes@tampabay.com.
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Kameel Stanley has never encountered a thrift store she didn’t like. Her
mother taught her that the true value of clothes isn’t how much they cost,
but how many outfits one can create from them. Having grown up in Michigan,
she was delighted to learn upon moving to Florida that she almost never
needed to wear socks or boots again. There’s a lot of turnover in her
closet, and she’s obsessed with dresses, necklaces and wedge heels. She can
be reached at (727) 893-8643 or kstanley@tampabay.com.
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A disciple of the little black dress classics school, Letitia Stein stretches her budget by looking for styles with staying power. She lives for 80 percent off shoes at DSW, floral sundresses and bohemian chic tops. She confesses to being a bit of a snob when it comes to handbags and jewelry. She can be reached at (813) 226-3400 or lstein@tampabay.com.
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Coming from a long line of fashionable women, Kim Wilmath considers herself lucky to fit into their hand-me-downs. Her wardrobe staples include her grandma's vintage blouses and her mom's funky jewelry. When she's in the market for "new" items, Kim hits her favorite thrift stores -- a habit she also picked up from mom. But when circumstances require a visit to the shiny stores in the mall, you'll find Kim at the sale rack like a good little diva. She can be reached at (813) 661-2442 or kwilmath@tampabay.com.
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