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Joan Collins called: She wants her shoulder pads back
No. Nope. Huh-uh. Absolutely, no frickin' way.
Fashion Week is underway in New York City, and all I can say is, holy terror on the runway. In place of where the models' bony shoulders should be, huge mounds of foam are perched and hidden beneath some very expensive fabric. Shoulder pads are back.
In the name of all that is good and wearable, ladies, I beg of you: Stand up and unite against this horrid '80s trend. Have we learned nothing from fashion's ugliest decade? We put away our Aqua Net hairspray, said goodbye to Dynasty-inspired blouses and sky-high bangs. We rid our wardrobes of Swatch watches, scrunchies and acid-wash jeans. Okay, so we've let leggings and skinny jeans creep back in, and maybe we'll paint our nails neon colors this spring.
But shoulder pads? REALLY??!!
Write your legislators. Tell them that Miss Sixty, Diane von Furstenberg, Herve Leger, BCBG, Jason Wu, Nicole Miller and Alexander Wang have all gone and lost their minds, and the dear citizens of decent dressing want them set straight ASAP. A fashion bailout, if you will.
"Shoulder pads scare people but remember, runway is a fairy tale," Teen Vogue fashion director Gloria Baume told the Associated Press. "Now we have to figure out how to make it real."
Or, hmm, how 'bout we figure out how to make shoulder pads -- the design disaster that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy, no matter how lacking in square proportions her shoulders may be -- go away FOREVER!
~ Deal Diva Colleen
(Photos: Miss Sixty designs, captured by the AP)
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THE AUTHORS
Stephanie Hayes came out of the womb wearing high heels. While other kids were reciting multiplication tables, she was learning to calculate an extra third off the half-price discount during buy-one-get-one week. She loves animal prints, black mascara and anything that sparkles. She objects to visible panty lines, Crocs and anything that costs more than a car payment. And she doesn't drive a nice car. She can be reached at (727) 893-8857 or shayes@tampabay.com.
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Kameel Stanley has never encountered a thrift store she didn’t like. Her
mother taught her that the true value of clothes isn’t how much they cost,
but how many outfits one can create from them. Having grown up in Michigan,
she was delighted to learn upon moving to Florida that she almost never
needed to wear socks or boots again. There’s a lot of turnover in her
closet, and she’s obsessed with dresses, necklaces and wedge heels. She can
be reached at (727) 893-8643 or kstanley@tampabay.com.
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A disciple of the little black dress classics school, Letitia Stein stretches her budget by looking for styles with staying power. She lives for 80 percent off shoes at DSW, floral sundresses and bohemian chic tops. She confesses to being a bit of a snob when it comes to handbags and jewelry. She can be reached at (813) 226-3400 or lstein@tampabay.com.
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Coming from a long line of fashionable women, Kim Wilmath considers herself lucky to fit into their hand-me-downs. Her wardrobe staples include her grandma's vintage blouses and her mom's funky jewelry. When she's in the market for "new" items, Kim hits her favorite thrift stores -- a habit she also picked up from mom. But when circumstances require a visit to the shiny stores in the mall, you'll find Kim at the sale rack like a good little diva. She can be reached at (813) 661-2442 or kwilmath@tampabay.com.
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