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Kellie Pickler has a scare-do
Howdy, y'all!
It's me, Kellie Pickler, previously of American Idol, presently of boob job. Ain't they sumthin? POWZAM, DOLLY! You don't want to step to these chickies!
Anywho, I found myself in a real pickle trying to get to the 7th Annual Dressed To Kilt charity fashion show Monday. I was runnin' around lickety split trying to toast up some Eggos and get Taylor Swift off my couch. Girlfriend did not take the hint when I handed her some Folgers Mountain Grown in a styro-to-go cup. I'm all, PRINCESS ANGEL, Jonas McFace is not coming back! Pull yourself together, key his Benz and move on like Donkey Kong!
Right, the fashion show. So, I'm hauling A to the subway, when it starts raining maple syrup right out of the clouds. I get on board all drippy-like to find the train windows are totally blown out! My chest anchored me enough so's I didn't fly to my death into the tunnel walls, but I'm NOT LYIN' to y'all, I felt like Helen Hunt in that movie where she's all dirty and tonguin' Bill Paxton in the center of funnel clouds and whatnot.
I arrived at the show four minutes to runway. The hairdresser was so sweet, guys. He actually said, "Bless your heart," before snappin' his ceramic flat iron in half and throwing his hands up. I love to find good Christian folks in the fashion industry.
I looked fierce, right? Oops, that's Tay Tay with the 911 text. She's in my apartment again. Gotta bounce, June Bugs.
xoxo,
Kellie
~ (aka, Deal Diva Stephanie)
Photo: AP
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THE AUTHORS
Stephanie Hayes came out of the womb wearing high heels. While other kids were reciting multiplication tables, she was learning to calculate an extra third off the half-price discount during buy-one-get-one week. She loves animal prints, black mascara and anything that sparkles. She objects to visible panty lines, Crocs and anything that costs more than a car payment. And she doesn't drive a nice car. She can be reached at (727) 893-8857 or shayes@tampabay.com.
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Kameel Stanley has never encountered a thrift store she didn’t like. Her
mother taught her that the true value of clothes isn’t how much they cost,
but how many outfits one can create from them. Having grown up in Michigan,
she was delighted to learn upon moving to Florida that she almost never
needed to wear socks or boots again. There’s a lot of turnover in her
closet, and she’s obsessed with dresses, necklaces and wedge heels. She can
be reached at (727) 893-8643 or kstanley@tampabay.com.
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A disciple of the little black dress classics school, Letitia Stein stretches her budget by looking for styles with staying power. She lives for 80 percent off shoes at DSW, floral sundresses and bohemian chic tops. She confesses to being a bit of a snob when it comes to handbags and jewelry. She can be reached at (813) 226-3400 or lstein@tampabay.com.
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Coming from a long line of fashionable women, Kim Wilmath considers herself lucky to fit into their hand-me-downs. Her wardrobe staples include her grandma's vintage blouses and her mom's funky jewelry. When she's in the market for "new" items, Kim hits her favorite thrift stores -- a habit she also picked up from mom. But when circumstances require a visit to the shiny stores in the mall, you'll find Kim at the sale rack like a good little diva. She can be reached at (813) 661-2442 or kwilmath@tampabay.com.
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