A look inside the $230,000 goodie bag Oscars nominees are getting this year
Another year, another Oscars gift bag that costs more than a house.
When the Hollywood elite gather this Sunday to crown their most treasured thespians with gold trophies shaped like naked men, some losers and winners alike will also get a bag of goodies worth more than $230,000. (Last year's was worth a measly $160,000; in 2014 only $80,000.)
Nominees in five categories - best actor/actress, best supporting actor/actress and best director - will get things like a lifetime supply of Pu-erh Tea Nourishing Cream and Pu-erh Tea Cleansing Bar ($31,200), a private 15-day walking tour of Japan ($54,000), a three-night stay at the Grand Hotel Excelsior Vittoria in Sorrento, Italy ($5,000), a Vampire Breast Lift ($1,900), 740 Park plastic surgery ($5,530), personalized M&Ms ($300, COME ON) and, my personal favorite, chapstick ($6).
We know the bags, which this year contain not-so-P.C. items like a vibrator and a vape pen, don't actually come from the folks behind the Oscars, but they'd really like it if everyone would stop assuming they did, thank you very much. According to the Hollywood Reporter, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences is suing Distinctive Assets, the marketing company behind the swag that "specializes in product promotion through celebrity integration." Well, handing celebrities bags of riches is a great way to get those products out there. How else would Healing Saint Luminosity skin serum and hair follicle stimulant ever gain traction on the market?
We can't help but think these bags are the kind of thing celebs set down in the vestibule of their mansions and forget about until a housekeeper stumbles upon it, like, "Mr. Damon, can you spare this 10-day all-expenses-paid trip to Israel?"
Here is a full list of the items in this year's bag, according to Harpers Bazaar, in case you need a stark reminder that Jennifer Lawrence is not even a little bit like you and she never will be. And the next time you think Leo DiCaprio is sad because he has never won an Oscar, know you are wrong, because Leo gets goodie bags that include $50,000 vacations and we get goodie bags that include Jordan Almonds.
Haze Dual Vaporizer ($250)
Personalized M&Ms ($300)
A 10,000-meal donation made in the nominee's name to an animal shelter or rescue of their choice ($6,300)
A lifetime supply of Pu-erh Tea Nourishing Cream and Pu-erh Tea Cleansing Bar ($31,200)
A year's worth of Audi car rentals from Silvercar ($45,000)
Tribute video services ($125)
Caolion Ultimate Pore Care gift set ($134)
Private 15-day walking tour of Japan ($54,000)
10 personal training sessions with Alexis Seletzky ($900)
Belldini gift certificate ($300)
Chocolatines Drunken Fig Cake Bites ($35)
Dandi Patch anti-perspirant solution ($21)
Delovery gift basket ($2,000)
Druzy earrings ($25)
Fit Club TV "Ultimate Fitness Package" ($6,250)
Gleener on the Go ($12)
3-day stay at the Golden Door Resort & Spa in San Marcos, CA ($4,800)
3-night stay at the Grand Hotel Excelsior Vittoria in Sorrento, Italy ($5,000)
3-night stay at the Grand Hotel Tremezzo in Lake Como, Italy ($5,000)
Greenhill Blanc de Blancs wine ($39)
Hydroxycut Gummies ($20)
3 fitness training sessions with Jay Cardiello ($1,400)
Joseph's Toiletries toilet paper ($275)
Sterling silver necklace ($150)
El Silencio Mezcal ($75)
Mission1 protein bar ($6)
Nuelle Fiera arouser for her ($250)
Phantom Glass screen protector ($50-60)
Purely Inspired Organic Protein ($20)
Rouge Maple culinary products ($99)
Sedone Lace makeup brush set ($110)
Signature Vodka ($70)
Slimware plates ($30)
Steamist spa system ($5,060)
Sundial powder coating ($500)
Blow dryers and flat irons ($250)
Vampire Breast Lift ($1,900)
740 Park plastic surgery ($5,530)
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