Alicia Silverstone creates an EcoTools makeup bag line. We want Cher Horowitz!
The flaks at EcoTools, the affordable nature-y bath and beauty stuff sold at Walgreens and Target, keep sending me tons of crap. Big fat boxes of swag. Since I've reviewed them before, I planned to chuck this month's haul of green goop into the charity pile. But when I cracked open the box, I saw something -- someone -- that compelled me to spout off:
Beloved Cher Horowitz, also known as Alicia Silverstone from Clueless, a film which I have seen, oh, A TRILLION TIMES. That's Christian in the background there. Remember when he macked on Cher's stems? And then she baked him a log of cookie dough only to find out he was totally batting for the home team? But it was OK because in the end, she totally ended up with her sexy older ex-stepbrother played by Paul Rudd? Go Cher Horowitz!
The best day of my life was in high school, when someone said I looked like Cher. I was wearing a hot pink glitter mini skirt, a velvet tank top, a fuzzy sweater and matching pink Mary Janes, so it wasn't a stretch, but I felt I had made something of myself. Go Cher Horowitz!
I'm burying the lead. Cher (fine, ALICIA) has created a new line of makeup bags and brushes for EcoTools, available in December. See?
Although she looks like she ate a mellow mushroom in that photo, I'm glad she's working. I'm sure she doesn't want to spend life known as the girl who hooked up Ms. Stoeger with Wallace Shawn (although I can't fathom WHY NOT.) And Alicia has long been a granola type, a supporter of animal rights, a known vegan. Good for her! But... but...
It totally shatters my hero worship fantasies. It's like if Superman turned out to be a clerk at 7-11 who takes steroids and runs amok in tights. Or if Dolly Parton pulled a zipper down her back and emerged as Slappy Squirrel.
Anywho, the makeup bags are very pretty. My office homeslice Marilyn tested the brushes and said they're completely soft and luxurious -- not scary and sharp like freeze-dried manure.
The more I think about it, maybe this is something Cher could get behind. After all, she did go through a spiritual transformation at the end, collecting canned goods and bongs for people in need. Maybe she was always headed down the path of crunch.
Oh, heck. Go Cher Horowitz!
Deal Diva Stephanie
Photos: amazon.com, Times files