We've got to talk about Brad. He's the first male face of Chanel No. 5, and he's making really existential commercials for it that are confusing and angering the Internet.

Just look at the first ad from his $7 million deal, entitled "There you are."

It's not a journey. Every journey ends but we go on. The world turns and we turn with it. Plans disappear, dreams take over. But wherever I go, there you are. My luck, my fate, my fortune. Chanel No.5. Inevitable.

I don't care who you are; your English major won't help you unpack the black-and-white melodrama of this ad, staged by the director of Atonement.

Brad, I give up. Just tell me what this all means and how it relates to an iconic perfume and why everything has to be so serious all of the time.

Oh, you've already tried to explain. "N°5 has always been the most iconic women's fragrance," Pitt said in a statement. "That's what I see being the appeal of this campaign; it goes beyond the abstract of emotion or beauty to evoke what is timeless: a woman's spirit."

So what you were trying to say is the essence of a woman's spirit is forever, but it disappears, and it's all very lucky yet inevitable --- and no, that's not helping.

What's everyone else's take? Am I missing something?

Some stray discussion starters:

- Did Pitt's ad make you more inclined or less inclined to buy Chanel No. 5?

- Is part of the problem that perfume ads are really weird anyway? Would our reaction be more understanding if a female celeb uttered these ambiguous lines?

- Does Pitt's facial hair remind you of this weekend's Saturday Night Live parody commercial for Gillette razors? He should shave immediately and avoid the Adrien Brody comparisons, right?

- Finally, an important question from my editor: Is Brad Pitt still a hottie?

Deal Diva Katie