Ch'Arms suck in your arm fat. Have we gone too far?
We've become vacuum sealed.
First, there were Spanx, the groundbreaking invention of Clearwater native Sara Blakely. Then, there were Yummie Tummies, the pricey camisoles that suck in your gut. Cool, sure. Our guts, brimming with the splendors of mac and cheese, thank you.
But the latest has me a little baffled. Our friend Josh Gillin at the Juice pointed out Wednesday that actor Kathy Najimy is now on HSN selling a line of coverings and smoothers for your arms. They're called Ch'Arms. At $29.90, they come in regular soft cotton, as well as a Spandex version that sucks in your arm fat and smooths your cheddar receptacle (belly) all while strangely omitting the boob region to avoid interfering with the neckline of the ADDITIONAL shirt you must layer on top. I get that it's not ideal to flatten the girls like Sliding Rock, but the result is something from Ye Olde Body Dysmorphia Sex Shoppe.
Arm fat sucks. Every woman knows the perils of waving across the bar at someone, only to have our Jell-O triceps wiggle like a summoning water balloon. We've all untagged the Facebook photo where our smooshed arm takes up half the screen. We've all worn a misguided cap sleeve.
We all hate something about ourselves.
Smoothing garments are great to streamline, hide visible pantylines, shape our most gelatinous of regions under clingy dresses. But I fear it's inching too far into Crazytown. There's a foundation garment for every part of the body these days. Spanx comes in a knee-high sock version, which confuses me to no end. Aren't most people's calves attractive? There are even shapers for PREGNANT WOMEN.
Must we encase our person like a Polska Kielbasa? Must we wrap our bodies entirely in Spandex to feel confident enough to leave the house? And for whom are we doing this? I'm pretty sure guys are oblivious.
I'd be willing to try Ch'Arms. Maybe it's the greatest thing ever, and I'm thinking about it too much. But I'd still do with with a dash of salt, knowing that it's important to wear clothes that fit and flatter, and to get a little help if we don't like how something looks.
But it's also OK to breathe.
Deal Diva Stephanie
Photo: HSN screen grab