Deal Divas

Stephanie Hayes, Katie Sanders, Shelley Rossetter, Kameel Stanley, Keeley Sheehan & Keyonna Summers

Christina Aguilera, Black Eyed Peas Superbowl fashion fails

7

February

Well, Christina Aguilera and the Black Eyed Peas have certainly been through the proverbial coffee grinder after their low moments in performance history at Sunday's Superbowl. Twilight's last reaming? Is that like when Edward Cullen uses a drill press?

But let's not linger too long on what they did. Let's instead focus our attention to far more pertinent matters that are getting lost in the whole "slandering America's heritage with vocal trills" hullabaloo.

What did they wear?

Here's Christina:

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Am I turning senile, or is she starting to become Cyndi Lauper? Maybe instead of our nation's anthem, she should have sang Time After Time, because NOBODY doesn't not know the words to that song, and yes that was a triple negative, and no I do not know what I actually just said.

Anyway, those sure are some great Louboutins. And I love the sleek power of a black tight, especially on days when I've just enjoyed three Totinos party pizzas and a glass or six of wine, which is what all the finger-pointers are saying about X-tina here.

The suit? I don't know. Isn't it a little formal for a football game? I feel like she's going to sell high-end real estate in Calabasas, standing strategically over the patch of cat pee on the carpet while you admire the vaulted ceilings. I mean, this is a woman who once wore CHAPS and not much else. Something is amiss.

As for the hair and makeup, I've been feeling for a while that Christina needs a new trick. The platinum pin-up thing has just about run its course on her head, as it would for anyone who is not Gwen Stefani. I propose Christina start totally fresh after this epic fail. Take a couple weeks off, get a tan, drink some water, change up the hair, wash the face and get back to singing good pop songs. Then, she can have an illustrious, respectable career just like Ace Frehley and the rest of KISS, here!

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Wait...

Deal Diva Stephanie

Photos: AP

[Last modified: Monday, February 7, 2011 4:19pm]

    

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