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Deal Divas

Stephanie Hayes, Katie Sanders, Kameel Stanley, & Keyonna Summers

Confusion alert: Chai deodorant?



Deodorant_3I just... I don't know. I need to work something out.

I love chai tea lattes. I used to shotgun one daily until I realized they had 211 calories, precious commodity that could be better spent on Snickers and Twix, Belgian ale and carbohydrates at large. So I scaled back, the sweet, spicy, hyper memory never far from my mind.  Good stuff, that chai.

I also love deodorant. It's a fantastic invention. Forgetting to wear it is the suckiest feeling in the world. I mean, who hasn't frozen with fear en route to a hot date or a job interview or a praise and worship session or a "Hug It Out, Bitch" Entourage viewing party? And who hasn't slipped a finger casually 'neath pit, overjoyed to feel the sweet relief of our chalky friend? Deodorant saves lives, man.

Secret_chai_2What I don't love is this: Secret Platinum Vanilla Chai Deodorant. 

I spied this yesterday in Walgreens and took a whiff. I'll be gobsmacked if it didn't smell JUST LIKE CHAI. Is this right? Do we want our armpits to smell like Starbucks? I want Pittsville City to smell clean, showery, fresh -- like a brisk Irish morn. Not like milk, loose-leaf tea and cardamom.

I'm a Secret customer, but I think they're getting weird. They've dumbed down their slogan to contain all the literary prowess of Beverly Hills Chihuahua: "Because you're hot." The packages are sparkly. The scents are like Lip Smackers: Arctic Apple; Brazilian Cherry; Southern Peach; Tropical Tango. And chai. What are we, twelve? Where's my Caboodle? My crimping iron? My Love's Baby Soft? My guide to Understanding Your Changing Body?

That aside, I really couldn't take the humiliation of a "time release" blast of underarm cinnamon and and hot-steamed skim bursting forth during the peak sweat point of Pilates class. I'll just drive through for a grande after, thanks.

~ Deal Diva Stephanie


[Last modified: Thursday, May 20, 2010 5:13pm]


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