Confusion alert: Chai deodorant?
I love chai tea lattes. I used to shotgun one daily until I realized they had 211 calories, precious commodity that could be better spent on Snickers and Twix, Belgian ale and carbohydrates at large. So I scaled back, the sweet, spicy, hyper memory never far from my mind. Good stuff, that chai.
I also love deodorant. It's a fantastic invention. Forgetting to wear it is the suckiest feeling in the world. I mean, who hasn't frozen with fear en route to a hot date or a job interview or a praise and worship session or a "Hug It Out, Bitch" Entourage viewing party? And who hasn't slipped a finger casually 'neath pit, overjoyed to feel the sweet relief of our chalky friend? Deodorant saves lives, man.
What I don't love is this: Secret Platinum Vanilla Chai Deodorant.
I spied this yesterday in Walgreens and took a whiff. I'll be gobsmacked if it didn't smell JUST LIKE CHAI. Is this right? Do we want our armpits to smell like Starbucks? I want Pittsville City to smell clean, showery, fresh -- like a brisk Irish morn. Not like milk, loose-leaf tea and cardamom.
I'm a Secret customer, but I think they're getting weird. They've dumbed down their slogan to contain all the literary prowess of Beverly Hills Chihuahua: "Because you're hot." The packages are sparkly. The scents are like Lip Smackers: Arctic Apple; Brazilian Cherry; Southern Peach; Tropical Tango. And chai. What are we, twelve? Where's my Caboodle? My crimping iron? My Love's Baby Soft? My guide to Understanding Your Changing Body?
That aside, I really couldn't take the humiliation of a "time release" blast of underarm cinnamon and and hot-steamed skim bursting forth during the peak sweat point of Pilates class. I'll just drive through for a grande after, thanks.
~ Deal Diva Stephanie
Photo: theessentials.com, photos.com