We’re good, we thought. But are we that good? In honor of Earth Week, when green is the thing and no scrap goes wasted, tb-two* issued a challenge to the Deal Divas -- Make our parents’ old clothes look cute.

Not so hard, you’re thinking. But these weren’t things the coolest mom in the world bought last week at the mall. Because they are maniacal, the staff of tb-two* presented tragedies from the deepest, saddest dregs locker in the master bedroom closet, things even Mom knows should have gone to Goodwill years ago. They should die a sad death as dust mops. Car rags. Kindling for the fire. Just look at the things they picked:

Could we pull it off? Make the stuff cute enough that a teenager would want to wear it in public?

Pssh. Of course. Follow the link to see what we came up with!

Wool + garish zigzag pattern = sweater disgrace

This sweater was last seen on Bill Cosby circa 1985. After she finished gagging, Deal Diva Dalia had a stroke of brilliance. Cut off the sleeves, sew them up a bit narrower and voila — legwarmers! Pair them with peep-toe stilettos and a short skirt to show off the legs. Add a long necklace and a denim jacket. Stir in a healthy dose of confidence and work it. The rest of the sweater? Instant pillow, baby! A look fit for a Huxtable in this century. (Modeled by Kelsey Hill, Lakewood High junior)

Hot pink pucker-pleated nightmare

We call this pink rectangle bag the “I give up” dress. No shape, no style, no nothing. Hack it off above the knee and put the border out of its misery, said Deal Diva Colleen. Make it more modern with a long grandpa cardigan. Pair with hot flats and belt the thing to kingdom come. What do you know? We have a waist! (Modeled by Amber Clark, Boca Ciega High freshman)
 
Stuck in the rocking chair, Granny?

We thought this would be the deal breaker. It’s a button-front sweatshirt! With pine trees! From Cracker Barrel! THE HORROR. But lookee here. A snip of the sleeves and the neckline, and we were astounded to see what could very well pass for a $40 hipster getup at Urban Outfitters. We were so emboldened by this point, anything seemed possible. (Modeled by Lisa Diffendale, Lakewood High sophomore)

Floral haze daze

The cast of Dynasty called. They wanted their jacket back. But we refused to send it! The fabric and print was still pretty, and long blazers are actually making a comeback. Deal Diva Stephanie insisted on new buttons — it’s like changing out the knobs on hideous kitchen cabinets. The shoulder pads had to go, too. The success of this beast rested in the simplicity of the rest of the outfit, because this jacket does a whole lotta talking. (Modeled by Celine Rodrigues, Seminole High senior)

Basketweave, it’s not just for camp projects

Fortunately, Deal Diva Stephanie watched Glee right before setting eyes on this Crazytown woven vest. And if television has anything to say about it, this is right in style. It needed a short skirt to sexy up the dweeb factor. Add flats and a tight fitting shirt, and she’s ready to sing harmony on a Kanye West song. Music to our eyes. (Modeled by Katie Gentry, Lakeside Christian High senior)

Photos by the fantabulous Colleen Cambier, Berkeley Prep