Emma Thompson wears a terrifying dress, walks a pig
Oh, Emma Thompson, GIRL. No.
I love you. Like, a lot. You are so pretty and graceful and such a quality actor. The scene in Love, Actually in which you realize Alan Rickman is cheating on you to the tune of Joni Mitchell's Both Sides Now makes me cry EVERY TIME. You are a woman of considerable beauty and talent, and yet...
No. Your boob looks like sand poured into a medieval coin purse. It is collecting alms for the poor. I know this is just an illusion of horror, optical trickery at the hands of insubordinate taffeta. This is not how your boobs (love) actually look, so why pretend? You deserve better! You have multiple Oscars, for the love of glory!
Let's check another angle.
Better. Your shoes are hot. You look mighty happy. And don't think we didn't notice that you accessorized with a PIG on a LEASH, which might be the most brillz aesthetic move in history. But still. I can't shake the feeling that your left boob is the lesser-loved half of a famous duo. The Jan to your Marcia. The Sonny to your Cher. The Monica to your Chandler. I just feel bad for it, is all.
I'm going to go watch Love, Actually on repeat now.
Deal Diva Stephanie
Photos: Emma Thompson at the premiere of Nanny McPhee and the Big Bang in London Wednesday, Getty Images.