Exclusive Deal Diva interview with Alexander McQueen's shoes
I guess it's ridiculous shoe week. First, we showed you FitFlop's lame attempt at boots. Now, we have these little numbers from British designer Alexander McQueen, shown on the runway Tuesday at Fashion Week in Paris.
To understand this curious footwear, I secured an exclusive interview with the little man painted near the, uh, toe. You'll know him by his gritted teeth and forward-facing eyeball. Here's the transcript of that conversation:
Deal Divas: Thanks for joining us.
Shoe Face Man: Thank you for having me.
DD: So, um... what the hell are you?
SFM: Well, given my pending lawsuit against Alexander McQueen, I must be somewhat guarded with my comments to the press, but I will say this: I had a great life as a ceramic showpiece in the Dubuque Festival of the Arts, standing between a terrific mixed-media sculpture and a darling oil pastel. I figured I might win a ribbon and finish life on someone's shelf where the worst that would ever happen to me was some murky water and cheap grocery store flowers. But... but...
DD: I know it's hard. Tell us what you can.
SFM: But, this so-called" designer" came along, swooped me from my podium -- all the other arts and crafts were so confused and scared -- and took me to Paris. Then some skinny woman (who could have used a serious pedicure), shoved her monster foot into me and stomped my face down a cold, dark road while someone sang music about a "disco stick." Then she did some sort of weird hip pop while a million camera flashes went off in my face like I was freaking Jon and Kate Plus 8 or something.
DD: What kind of damages are you seeking?
SFM: My lawyer advised me not to disclose that. But my emotional distress is significant, and there's a chip in my lower back. I'll probably never be able to support myself. I mean that literally. I wobble.
DD: Shoe Face Man, thank you for your candor, and best of luck to you on this difficult journey ahead.
SFM: If it can help others, that's all I care about.
Deal Diva Stephanie