Fashion Bonkers Alert: Beyonce
Greetings, Divas! Beyonce here. I wanted to let you guys know that my hand replacement surgery went REALLY WELL. Everyone at the outpatient clinic was super nice, and the nurses even honored Jay's request to hydrate me intravenously with spring water sieved directly from Évian-les-Bains, so as not to dilute my fabulosity.
The thing I love about Dr. Skywalker is that he's not afraid to go out on a limb (I'm so punny!) When he saw how totally INSPIRING the hand looked without skin, he dropped his scalpel and said, "Beyonce, DARLING, exposed chrome phalanx bones are the new black." He's truly innovative, and that's why he'll get my other hand's business in six to eight weeks when the swelling goes down.
Only one problem. This sucker is so heavy, I have to hold it up with my teeth. But no problem. I make it sexy, right? I AM Sasha Fierce. WORK.
~ Deal Diva Beyonce
(Photo: Me at MTV Europe Music Awards, Times files)