Fashion Week 2012 recap: Poofs, fur and Olsens
So, New York Fashion Week happened. It's so far out of the realm of our daily lives -- you know, working at jobs and taking care of families and making Hamburger Helper -- that sometimes it just blows right by. It's certainly relevant, though, because whatever the cray-cray designers trot out every season trickles down directly into our Target bargain bins. But if you're not intensely IN IT TO WIN IT, it's hard to keep up with every single show.
That's why you have us. To summarize! Here are some observations from this past week in the alternate reality called New York Fashion Week.
Oscar de la Renta showed a cadre of deliciously floofy cupcake creations. This is really exciting, guys. Full skirts bode well for our Little Debbie snack cake habit. When there's 18 yards of tulle pin-tucked around your waist, your arms look really tiny. It may be better than Weight Watchers. We're so pumped! We're so...
Oh. Well, shoot. Sleek, form-fitting silhouettes were just as prevalent, like this from Victoria Beckham (who is a 4-pound stick insect herself). There's no denying this is a sexier shape on just about everyone. But it also means maybe just eating one box of Christmas Tree Cakes this year instead of six. FINE. WHATEVER. Side note: LOVE the boot socks here.
Ruh roh. We kind of thought this had sailed with one season, but apparently not. We love faux fur, but the real stuff remains controversial as ever. Just ask our best friend and father figure, Tim Gunn. Nonetheless, engorged squirrel garments sailed down the runway at Vivienne Tam and Michael Kors, whose model is seen here with something swiped from the closet of Boris and Natasha.
Pants of horror
Listen up, Ralph Lauren, and listen good. This cut of pants looks good on approximately NO ONE, population ZERO BLACK HOLE. OK? They don't even really work on a Kentucky Derby stable boy sent to fetch more Mane 'n Tail. This look is achieved after eating six boxes of Christmas Tree cakes (see above) and following up with absolutely no physical activity. This is a human ice cream cone (in a natty Glenurquhart check, but still). Put down the hash pipe. Society thanks you.
Behnaz Sarafpour trotted out some pleated skirts that were adorably Doralee Rhodes in 9 to 5. This is so kicky and retro. I'm going to have to pull out the yellow pleated skirt you all scared me into shoving into the depths of my closet last year. REMEMBER? My Outfit Monday ruins lives.
HAHAHAHAHAHA. I can't. I can't even. Michelle Tanner-squared sat in the front row for their line, The Row, looking like actors rejected from the Valerie Plame biopic auditions. I have to think, based on their knowing smirks, that they had some sense of humor about this. I hope Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen got together before the show and were like, "Let's wear hilarious Anna Wintour sunglasses. Omigod, no. We can't. Can we? OK, let's do it. Everyone will think we're serious, and then we'll go home and count our money."
Fashion week, we cherish you.
Deal Diva Stephanie
Photos: AP, Getty, Times files.