Jessica Simpson makeup-free on Marie Claire. WHY?
Every so often, a magazine decides to feature famous people without makeup, as if the world will collapse on itself and dwindle into a black hole of nothingness at the sheer REVELATION of it all. People magazine did a no-makeup gimmick for one of its 50 Most Beautiful issues. And we told you about French Elle's shenanigans last year.
The latest? Jessica Simpson in the May issue of Marie Claire.
I have nothing but love for Jessica Simpson. Despite her public bumbling, she is endearing and funny. I want to have a beer with her and check out boys and try on shoes. And I understand that, after being run through the media sausage grinder, she's on a love-thyself kick promoting her Price of Beauty show, and that this cover may somehow feel empowering.
That said, the whole makeup-free gimmick makes my B.S. detector go, like, RRREEOORRREEEOOORRREEEE. Sure, she hasn't been airbrushed to an inch of her life, and that's refreshing. But she still looks all kinds of glowy, and I'm pretty sure that's a shine I detect mid-lip. If that's well-placed saliva, I say why even bother? She's evidently been plucked and groomed and buffed, and there's not much difference between that and a swipe of mascara.
You want to get all crunchy with it, magazines? Really make us regular gals feel better? Show us acne! Wrinkles! Dandruff! Patchy eyebrows! Albino lashes the length of a couscous grain! Sun spots and age spots! A crust of honey mustard from this afternoon's sandwich! Nose hair! Lip hair! Plaque! Dry skin! Split ends! Suspicious, raised moles! Mysterious red marks you've been meaning to get checked out!
But that would be ridiculous, and that's the point. Makeup is not the enemy. It is not a sinister tool of the devil. It is something to be used. Surely there is a happy medium between bogus au-natural posturing and press scandals involving murderous amounts of Photoshop. There must be level of photographic sanity at which people are glossed and well-lit and presented in a way that highlights their best attributes, while at once digitally preserving their hip bones (Demi Moore on W) and signature facial scars (Tina Fey on Vogue). Think how sane we'd all feel then.
Deal Diva Stephanie
Photo: Marie Claire