Kanye West's $1,000 shoes are hideous
I wore high-tops once. It's a dark time in my life and I'm not proud. But it needs confronting.
They were white leather with air holes poked in the toe. They closed with both Velcro AND shoelaces. The suckers were stuck to my dogs like a Sopranos cement block. In one instance of particular poor judgment, I wore them with SCRUNCH SOCKS and WHITE TIGHTS and OVERALL SHORTS and a SNAP-CROTCH BODY SUIT and a SCRUNCHIE.
Oh, that feels cleansing!
Alas, it was the early 90s and the shoes probably cost a reasonable $30 out of my family's budget. That's my excuse. What's yours, Kanye West?
How can you possibly make peace with YOUR demons? After all, you've designed a new line of intensely fugly sneaks for Louis Vuitton, the likes of which have not been seen since I trotted Epcot Center's Body Wars ride in my Reebok Classics. Your shoes have HOT PINK DYE and FRINGE. They have GOLD TABS and PIPING.
Worst of all, word on the street is they will retail for around $800-$1,000! These things better be made of spun-freaking-gold, Kanye. I mean, for that price, I want to feel like I'm walking on a marshmallow. Like my feet are wholly absorbed in a miniature Snuggie for all eternity.
You should really talk it out with a therapist, Kanye. It'll help you come to terms with your own truth. Only then can you move forward and design shoes that aren't terrible.
~ Deal Diva Stephanie
Photo: nicekicks.com, Times files. That's right, Kanye West. You better LOOK sullen after what you've done to these innocent shoes!
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