Kellie Pickler has a scare-do
It's me, Kellie Pickler, previously of American Idol, presently of boob job. Ain't they sumthin? POWZAM, DOLLY! You don't want to step to these chickies!
Anywho, I found myself in a real pickle trying to get to the 7th Annual Dressed To Kilt charity fashion show Monday. I was runnin' around lickety split trying to toast up some Eggos and get Taylor Swift off my couch. Girlfriend did not take the hint when I handed her some Folgers Mountain Grown in a styro-to-go cup. I'm all, PRINCESS ANGEL, Jonas McFace is not coming back! Pull yourself together, key his Benz and move on like Donkey Kong!
Right, the fashion show. So, I'm hauling A to the subway, when it starts raining maple syrup right out of the clouds. I get on board all drippy-like to find the train windows are totally blown out! My chest anchored me enough so's I didn't fly to my death into the tunnel walls, but I'm NOT LYIN' to y'all, I felt like Helen Hunt in that movie where she's all dirty and tonguin' Bill Paxton in the center of funnel clouds and whatnot.
I arrived at the show four minutes to runway. The hairdresser was so sweet, guys. He actually said, "Bless your heart," before snappin' his ceramic flat iron in half and throwing his hands up. I love to find good Christian folks in the fashion industry.
I looked fierce, right? Oops, that's Tay Tay with the 911 text. She's in my apartment again. Gotta bounce, June Bugs.
~ (aka, Deal Diva Stephanie)