Lucy Liu wears a dress of carnations
Hey everyone. Lucy Liu here. I'm gorgeous and hot, right? But be honest -- what do you think of my dress?
I'm not going to lie. I'm concerned. I suspect I'm having a breakdown in communication with my stylist. I instructed him as follows: "I'd like to look sexy, sophisticated and curvy. Find me something that'll gracefully fill me out on top, friend."
Right about when I said, "fill me out on top," he did one of those snorts. You know what I mean? When people are really sleeping and they jolt awake and their sinuses, like, backfire? But because I am nice, I gave him the benny of the doubt. Maybe he just needed some Zicam for his nasal drip or whatever. THEN, (and this was my fatal flaw), I tried to stay cool and change the subject. I mentioned how I thought carnations are actually really quite pretty and get a bad rap in the floral community. And right about when I said "carnations," he did ANOTHER snort thing! Only this time, I'm CERTAIN he was sleeping, because he had eye crust, and there's no denying eye crust.
So here I am on the red carpet with carnation boobs, and I just don't know what to do. I want to call my stylist and make sure he's getting enough sleep, but I'm afraid he'll misunderstand again and dress me in a giant Snuggie for the Emmys. Sigh.
Wish me luck,
(a.k.a. Deal Diva Stephanie)
Photo: Getty image of Lucy Liu at the opening night celebration of the Persol "Incognito Design Exhibition" at The Whitney Museum of American Art on Tuesday in New York City.