Magazine Cover of Horror: Pippa Middleton
I was standing in line at CVS last night, attempting to buy a Red Bull and a set of pinch-free Goody headbands and a bottle of water, and I saw this:
Now, listen. I love a good celebrity read as much as the next functioning, entertainment-consuming human. I'd love to know what magical diet Jennifer Aniston is on to be able to pull off a leather dress like that. And, yep, Ryan Gosling pictures, bring them on.
But Pippa Middleton? UNDATEABLE? Have we officially crossed from slow cultural moral erosion to full-on shame spiral?
This woman and I are the same age, so perhaps it has struck a particularly personal chord. But as I see it, it is a sad day when you, me and all others in need of affordable sundries cannot stand in line without being made to think that a beautiful, fashionable, rail-thin British socialite who is 28-YEARS-OLD and perhaps has not found the one man with whom she wants to bear droves of children, is a dried-up, craggy, hideous heat-breathing dragon totally covered in boils and oozing green gel from her gaping, UNDATEABLE brain, a sniveling twit so horrid and unwise that she repels all men across the land and is destined to be alone, forever.
CAN WE NOT DO THIS TO EACH OTHER, LADIES? GERMS?
We now return to your regularly-scheduled fashion news.
Deal Diva (Soapbox) Stephanie