DEAL DIVA NOTE: The top of this post went missing for several hours this morning. We sent authorities out looking for it, and they told us they had better things to do. Sorry for the confusion.

Is anyone catching the 2011 Spring Bling Fashion Show at Jackson's Bistro tonight?  The fashion show, hosted by Meredith Walusek from the MJ Morning Show, runs from 10 p.m. to 3 a.m. and features clothes from Bunny Couture, Dara Lauria and NV by Nevada V. Cover is $10 for women and $15 for men, but could increase. Proceeds benefit the Children’s Home, serving 12,000 children and families in Tampa Bay.

It's a cool event featuring awesome local fashion designers for a great cause, so that should be enough. But there's MORE.

MARIO LOPEZ.

Here he is in 2007 when he asked Miss South Carolina Teen why a fifth of Americans can't locate the country on a world map, and she answered, "I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uh, some . . . people out there in our nation don't have maps..." and so forth. Doesn't he look like he wants to die? Aw, poor Mario.

Anyway, he's going to be at the fashion show tonight! Everyone swoons over this guy on the set of Extra in Hollywood. They pin up his photos from Dancing with the Stars. They buy his fitness book and learn how to get Herculean abdominals. But let us not abandon his roots.

Lopez was once Albert Clifford Slater, the wrestler with the mullet who dated pill-popping Jessie Spano on Saved by the Bell. When he comes to Jackson's, it would be easy to shower him with praise and ignore his 1990s fashion missteps.  Thankfully, you have us. Before you go mingle with Mario, let’s review A.C. Slater’s sexiest fashion statements.

The Stool Stud
Jauntily carrying a bar stool through the Max requires high-waisted, acid-washed jeans, a skinny leather belt and a teal tank top. Also, let’s celebrate the baby beginnings of Slater’s signature curly mullet.

The Spandex Lean
You didn’t expect Slater to ride his ten-speed in a mere T-shirt, did you? Such athleticism requires elastic bicycle shorts. They must be tight enough for Slater to tuck in his tank top, because no one likes a sloppy dreamboat. The gold chain says, “I bring glamour to the bike shop.”

The Quarterback Draw
Hello, Mr. Football Star! That jersey sure fits you well. Bayside High’s pigskin team just isn’t the same without No. 73 on the line. Slater turns function to fashion with his pale mom jeans and decorative neon-tube lighting backdrop.

The Dapper Don
Most guys rock their geometric rayon dress shirts with an open button or two. Not A.C. Slater. He rides that train all the way to Necktown. Nothing frames those dimples like a choke collar and a gelled mullet.

The Ballet Booty
We like a man who’s secure. Slater crushes gender stereotypes by prancing around the Max in a black leotard and ballet slippers. Maybe Elizabeth Berkley was taking dance pointers for her future role in Showgirls.

The Why Bother?
Listen. When your best friend is Zack Morris and you’re working with a 12‑pack stomach, shirts are a petty hassle. Slater schools us when he and Zack let the shirts fly free. This time, we can even see his belly button. Thanks, mid-rise black jeans.

Deal Diva Stephanie

Photos: Times files, NBC

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