Oscar red carpet: How did they do?
The Deal Divas are here! We have invaded the office of the St. Pete Times with popcorn, Diet Coke and a variety of things dipped in chocolate. We left the Boones Farm at home, but we're still on point with the snark, readers. Have no fear!
Letitia: It looks like a Disney Princess dress. She looks like she needs a magic wand.
Stephanie: Where's the Mermaid Cotillion? King Triton will be so proud to introduce her to his lawyer friends.
Colleen: That's a lot of dress for a little thing.
Robin Swicord (screenwriter for Curious Case of Benjamin Button)
Stephanie: OH GOD, WHY?
Letitia: I hate to say it, but the movie was that bad, too.
Colleen: What about her husband's shoes? What are those?
Stephanie: Air Jordans? Jump, jump!
Stephanie: Ew, ew, ew, siiiick, it's a mullet. It's a party in the back!
Colleen: He looks like he should be in Grease III.
Taraji P. Henson
Colleen: She looks like an Oscar statue. Good karma, maybe?
Letitia: Stunning. I like the clutch. It's a daring touch of color. Girl is classy but having fun.
Colleen: It matches her hair color, but not in a good way.
Stephanie: It's the color of vomit after eight rum and Diet Cokes.
Colleen: I love the silhouette and I love the color but I'd ditch the long lacy sleeve
Stephanie: I agree. It looks like a really artful tourniquet.
Colleen: Earrings, too big. Hair, too stiff. It's the Nicole Kidman Syndrome.
Letitia: Her dress could stand up without her in it. E! just compared her dress to origami. That's not a good thing.
Stephanie: The front looks like a spoiler on a Honda Civic.
Sarah Jessica Parker
Letitia: She has some boob fat going on.
Colleen: She said the color is Barely Mint. I say it looks like Barely Cement.
Stephanie: That's a WHOLE LOTTA necklace... but I think I like it.
Colleen: It makes a big girl statement, which I like because Amy Adams is kind of a cute little girl. I mean, she said, "Yes sir," to Ryan Seacrest.
Letitia: Ew! Ew! I don't know where to start! The pleats, the bow!
Stephanie: I'm glad she's being proactive for hurricane season. It's always responsible to install storm shutters early.
Colleen: People are going to be stepping on that thing all night.
Colleen: Her dress is Victoria's Secret meets Dust Buster.
Stephanie: It's like the porn version of a wedding cake topper.
Stephanie: ACK! Elephantitis of the boob!
Colleen: Her E-cup runneth over.
Stephanie: She shoots, she scores. Love it. GIMME.
Letitia: You had me above the waist. I don't like the bottom.
Colleen: The overall look is old Hollywood glamour, but I'm not crazy about that black overlay.
Stephanie: Well, I'm not crazy about you. So there.
Colleen: Cold. So cold.
Letitia: I'd like to take this opportunity to say, I hate her.
Colleen: Now, now.
Letitia: She's gorgeous, but I HATE HER.
Colleen: The fashion, the fashion!
Letitia: Fine! Er, the dress is glam in a mumu kind of way.
Colleen: I'm proud of you.
Colleen: I don't even know what to say.
Letitia: Princess fell into the rabbit hole.
Stephanie: She's a little old to be having a Quinceanera.
Colleen: It looks like she's going to break out into a can-can.
Letitia: It's got a beautiful shape and it's pure glamour.
Stephanie: I don't usually like her in white, but I admit. I love this. She looks like a Christmas light.
Colleen: Me too. Not my favorite color, but glamorous nonetheless.
Stephanie: Tilda, my love, you never disappoint. An oatmeal-colored rouched Hefty bag? GENIUS. TEACH ME YOUR WAYS.
Colleen: Need. Sunlight. Now.
Letitia: I love that she has the figure of a real woman and I love that she's not afraid to age. She knows getting older can be beautiful.
Stephanie: But... what do you think of the dress?
Letitia: Um, it's a lot better than what she's worn to the Oscars before.
Colleen: She puts talent before fashion. I can respect that.