Listen. "Oxblood" is the official name of the big color for fall, and we have to deal with it. There was a spread about it in Glamour this month, and I keep getting emails about "THE LATEST OXBLOOD ACCESSORIES." Every time I see the word, I just picture a 1980s horror movie in which deranged oxen massacre an attractive yet daft group of teens taking a summer road trip through the woods. It would probably star a young Renee Zellweger, and it would become a cult classic.

No one wants that, so let's go with "burgundy." It really is a beautiful color, a strong jewel tone that's not reminiscent of your school's laser-light photo background from the third grade.  It's deep, rich, mature. Looks great on all skin.

Here were have a burgundy dress from H&M, $39.95. I love the Peter Pan collar and sleeve length. It really marries well, kind of like Renee Zellweger would be tempted to marry the jock who is all wrong for her, yet thankfully dies in the first half hour of OXBLOOD'S REVENGE.

If you want to change the station and channel Ron Burgundy's power suit in Anchorman -- and why wouldn't you? -- try these curvy chinos from New York and Company, $39.95. They're calling the color "sangria red," to which we raise our glasses in support!

By the end of the OXBLOOD'S REVENGE, it's likely Renee Zellweger would have defeated the final ox, using her bare hands and strength of will to claw out his tail then marinate it for hours in a rich burgundy (see?) wine. Her fingers would reflect this, much like this Essie polish in Berry Hard, available at Zappos for $8.

And honestly, what good is this all-star oxblood party without an appearance from the Kardashians? You KNOW they'd make a cameo in OXBLOOD'S REVENGE if they could, even if they were murdered in the back of the Jeep before the jock ex-fiance. They would wear this $75.99 oxblood faux-fur jacket from their Kardashian Kollection for Sears.

You know what? I'd totally watch.

Deal Diva Stephanie

Photos: H&M, New York & Company, Zappos, Sears