The Queen and Her Hats: A Retrospective
Queen Elizabeth II is grinning all over town this year, celebrating her Diamond Jubilee. For those who don't know, it's basically a massive party marking her 60th year in the throne. Folks across the commonwealth will celebrate the jubilee's so-called Central Weekend Saturday through Tuesday with a host of pageantry and picnics and concerts. It all sounds like a gas.
The Queen is likely to roll out some legendary headgear for the events, as she always does. To note the occasion, we thought we'd take a fashiony look back at Liz's most famous hats.
May 30, 2012, dinner with the Royal Regiment of Scotland
This hat not only employs a chic pastel color combination, it serves as a holster for emergency sushi chopsticks, or, if a kerfuffle should arise, a pointed weapon to stab royal naysayers in the jugular. She only looks nice.
May 29, 2012, garden party at Buckingham Palace
The Queen loves some soft lavender. And why shouldn't she? It would hardly feel right to instigate a critical conversation about public referenda in sovereign states when she looks so... so... SUNNY.
Feb. 6, 2012, visit to Kings Lynn Town Hall in Norfolk, England
Look how smug. This is how competitive dance battles go down in royal circles. Instead of headspins on the pavement, they just stare and smile like, "Your stocking cap is cute. Did you see my hat? It's made of teal straw crafted to match my suit buttons. Well, good day, commoner."
2011, opening refurbished East Wing of Somerset House
Listen, you WILL be noticed when feathers burst from the central-most point of your cranium. She is a glorious ostrich who has just spied a hyena across the plains. Thankfully, her blazer provides natty camouflage. NOW RUN.
2011, visit to Trinity College Dublin
That is one tall chapeau. Come to think of it, she could be using that puppy to hide snacks. Just imagine the cheese on toast, potato crisps and Scotch eggs you could stash under there. Those official tours are long, you guys.
2011, visit to RAF Valley, Anglesey, Wales
THIS IS AN OUTRAGE. If Jennifer Lopez can have 16 rolls of double-sided tape to affix a surplus of sheer bathroom drapes to her body, surely someone can get the QUEEN OF ENGLAND a few decorative hatpins for a windy day at the air base.
2010, Canada Day celebrations in Ottawa, Canada
Um. Oh, dear. Awkward. We seem to have lost the Queen among the Canadian press backdrop. Please, send out a search and rescue corgi.
2009, opening a new session of Parliament in the House of Lords
1999, leaving St. George's Chapel in Windsor, England
We'd be in great moods, too, if we got to spend all those years wearing the Truffula trees from The Lorax to social functions. Congratulations, your majesty. May you enjoy many more years of entertaining toppers.
Deal Diva Stephanie
Photos: AP and Getty, Times files.