Ripped tights: Thrifty, trendy or tacky?
The other day, I donned a pair of black tights and promptly saw a tiny run around the knee area. Immediately, the Tacky Devil and the Stylish Angel on my shoulders dispensed their wisdom.
Tacky Devil: Child, please. Don't worry about that minuscule hole. Your skirt is long enough to cover it. It'll only show when you sit down, and you don't have any important meetings today. Just put a dab of this fire engine nail polish on it to stop the run. Bellisima!
Stylish Angel: Distract from the hole by painting it red? Who raised you -- Janice Dickinson? Listen Steph. THROW THEM AWAY. We know you need to shave, but just suck it up and wear pants until you can get new tights. They're like $3 at CVS. Don't be a cheap skeeve.
TD: Cheap skeeve? Who died and made you Sarah Ferguson? I'm pretty sure I saw that chintzy halo you're sporting on the $4.99 rack at the liquidating Rave next to the Pawn-n-Gun Emporium.
SA: Oh really? You would know about Rave, wouldn't you? Don't let me hold you up. I don't want you to be late for your lunchtime shift on the pole.
TD: Oh, IT'S ON LIKE DONKEY KONG, B!
SA: BRING IT, HOMESLICE. I'll lasso you with your holey pantyhose and send you back to the left shoulder where you belong!
Those two. Always at it! I decided to embrace both their good points. I ditched the pair with the run and opted for a crazy-looking pair with a flower design that would delight anyone with a dormant tacky streak. But it turns out, I would have been right in style if I had just listened fully to Tacky Devil. Exhibit A:
This photo is straight from backstage at the Monique Lhuillier 2009 fall show at New York Fashion Week this month. Indeed, the princess dressmaker toughened up her fairy tale wares with some old-fashioned ripped panthyhose.
Similarly, celeb tartlets have been strutting around with airholes up and down their legs. Check out these pics of Miley Cyrus and 90210's Shenae Grimes.
I don't know. The miser in me likes the thought that my tights can live forever, but this look may be a little much to actually pull off.
Stylish Angel: That's right, Steph. I'm glad we had this talk. I'm proud of how far you've come.
Tacky Devil: Don't listen to her, rock star. She's a buzzkill. MILEY FOREVER!
~ Deal Diva Stephanie