Sarah Jessica Parker wears expensive cloven hoof shoes, transforms into fashion cattle
Generally, toes are kind of ick, right? I mean, they're all separate and long and bulbous and splayed out. I always thought it might make more visual sense if we all had flat feet like in The Witches, since toes are so dumb-looking. Plus, mine are constantly freezing. Sub-zero. My boyfriend thinks I have deadly circulation problems and/or X-Men-like mutant tendencies. If he's right, maybe I could adopt a really cool superhero name like... like... ICELANDIA PHALANGELINA! She shatters flip-flops hi-and-lo by wielding frenzied frozen toe!
Anyway, toes look better inside shoes, so here's my question, for, oh, I don't know... SARAH JESSICA PARKER. Why wear shoes that create the appearance of TWO MASSIVE TOES? Siiiick.
Check out this link, if you dare. SJP strolled around New York Monday wearing freakish cloven boots by designer Martin Margiela. She looked like Bambi's mother. A Chick-Fil-A cow. A fetching centaur. A Seabiscuit. A... a... what else has hooves, Wikipedia? A PRONGHORN, a species of ungulate mammal native to interior western North America!
But hey, maybe you disagree. Maybe you totally love rocking the twotoe fatfoot. Maybe you admire SJP's special brand of crazy. Maybe you are auditioning for the part of Puck Bradshaw in your local community theater production of "A Midsummer Night's Square Pegs Footloose In The City." If so, feel free to buy Martin Margiela's red hoof heels here for a mere $435!!!
Sigh. Where are my slipper socks?
~ Deal Diva Stephanie