Square toe shoes are on pointe (bada-bing!)
As a child, I had a music box with a tiny ballerina who twirled on toe. She was beautiful. Dainty. Statuesque and lithe. I wanted pointe shoes so I could do it too. That is, until the day I found out the truth:
OOUCH&^#%$&!
Ballerinas jam their toes against a hard box and balance on it. Our sexy yet unreliable boyfriend, Wikipedia, suggests techniques for breaking in pointe shoes such as "pounding the shoes against cement, hitting them with blunt objects, wetting the box then wearing them to class and bending them on door frames.
In lieu of NOT DOING THIS EVER, how about just looking like a ballerina in this season's big shoe trend? A square toe! Some designers call it a "snip toe," but that gives me the heebies, like a terrible backhoe accident.
Design guru Alexander McQueen started it. Dita Von Teese and Gwyneth Paltrow, whose name I have to Google for spelling EVERY TIME, CONSARNIT, wore them out before the tired, the poor, the huddled masses yearning to breathe free of fug shoes.
You can have a more affordable slice, and you don't even need to know WTF arabesque means! Top picks:
Target Mossimo Vassie "Snip Toe" (BARF) Pump, $29.99. I desire to own these.
Jessica Simpson Manica Square Toe Pump, $79.95., Bakers. I desire to own these.
Bam-11 from The Highest Heel Collection, on sale for $56.70 at zappos.com. I desire to own these.
Brandy by Paris Hilton, on sale for $82.96 at zappos.com. I desire to own these.
~ Deal Diva Stephanie
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