St. Patrick's Day fashion that doesn't abuse the chest
If you've hung around these parts for any length, you know we're not fans of Obligatory Holiday Shirts That Look Like Someone Set Up Shop And Threw A Carnival Across Your Breasts (OHSTLLSSUSATACAYB, for short). You know. They're usually $5-$10, sold at Target and Old Navy and Walmart. Santa leering from your gazongas at Christmas. Fireworks exploding across your bazooms on Independence Day. Cupid shooting an arrow down your lady hearts on Valentine's Day.
St. Patrick's Day is no exception. At Target, you can get this little number:
Guys, I can't even pretend to be diplomatic. I hate this. The back says, I'M NOT LUCKY I'M GOOD. Just like that. With no punctuation. And Mr. Lothario K. Shamrock on the the front is like your uncle's creepy friend who has had six too many Emerald Isle Martinis and insists he's Irish (even though you're pretty sure he's, like, some German mix), and says therefore you must kiss him.
Can we not be festive and leave the torso unscathed?
I'll be at the Ybor City St. Patrick's Day Parade Saturday with some friends and family. I'll pile on the beads and festive bracelets. I might even sport a wacky chapeau. But ladies, there are alternatives to wrapping your chesticles in four-leaf clovers. Green is a beautiful color that flatters almost every skin tone. It comes in so many different shades, prints, patterns. It makes eyes pop and hair look bright and shiny. Take advantage.
Look! In the very same Target stock, you can find this adorable green spring dress, on sale for $13.99! It's flowy, comfortable, allows for max consumption of Guinness. Drape a cute strand of shamrock beads around your neck. Perfect.
Or, wow. This is amazing, from H&M, $24.95. Add a cardigan and black tights and you could wear this to work long after you've woken up on your friend's couch with an empty Shamrock Shake cup near your head.
Old Navy has you covered, too. Do a quick turn from the wacky holiday tee table and grab this pretty pleated chiffon top for $22. It's pastel, one of this season's biggest trends. This could easily transition to an Easter picnic. It would also look cute with the felt leprechaun hat some stranger is sure to put on your head Saturday night. And you know what? That's fine.
Irish blessings and safe chestings, everyone.
Deal Diva Stephanie
Photos: Target, H&M, Old Navy