I have to tell you guys about this luxurious new lip product I've discovered. It's made from the tears of baby pygmy goats and the protein of wild Mediterranean silkworms. It costs quite a bit, but it's worth it for the moisture, shimmer and all-natural plumping ability that some beauty industry insiders have called "the new Restylane."

Just kidding. It's Lip Smacker!

Cinderella's Vanilla Sparkle, no less.

I'm a big fan of mixing drug store makeup with higher-end products. I swear by my MAC eyebrow pencil and makeup remover pads. I love Urban Decay and Too Faced shadows from Sephora. But I'm equally enamored with cheap products, and think many work just as well as their expensive sisters (Cover Girl Last Blast, anyone?). And some, like Lip Smacker, are just more fun! I hadn't had one in years.

I stopped into CVS the other day to pick up some concealer and saw a big display of THE BIGGEST LIP SMACKERS EVER. They're jumbo. Here, I'll show you the Lip Smacker next to my Revlon Colorburst Lip Butter for scale.

"No," I thought in the drug store. "I'm not 7. This is going too far."

I circled back to the Lip Smacker about five times before deciding, "WHATEVER, it's $3.99, if you're going to be ridiculous, just be ridiculous already." So I bought it.

I immediately ripped it open in the car. The balm was and buttery and chock full of glitter. The surface was HUGE, which made applying it inexplicably fun and imprecise, probably because it's designed for a child whose motor skills are still underdeveloped. But the biggest shock of all? It looked and felt awesome! Smooth and baby-soft with a hint of shimmer and a delicious flavor.

It reminded me of an episode of Anthony Bourdain's No Reservations where he was eating roasted guinea pig in Ecuador (I know, this post is lacking all sorts of focus, sorry). He talked about how if you just rebranded the guinea pig as, like, "petite suckling mountain pig," or something, Americans would think it was a delicacy. I thought the same about the Lip Smacker.  If you repackaged it and called it, "Champs-Élysées Luxe Lip Whip," you could sell it for $22 in Sephora.

Caving into a Lip Smacker felt so good, I didn't just stop at one. I was heading out to a group dinner, so I bought one to share with a girlfriend. If you can't spread a little childhood joy, what good are these Cinderella finds?

Deal Diva Stephanie

Photos: My iPhone