Too much booty in the pants
*cough* Let me try this again. *composure*
Hey everyone! Feeling a little flat in the back? Need a boost of, um, confidence? Try this really comfortable-looking push-up thongthing from Bubbles Bodywear, $64! It's designed to lift your cheeks to the heavens! You'll finally fill out that 19th century hoop skirt ! Your boyfriend will never again question where to set his beer! You'll...
Oh hells bells, I can't do it.
This looks like a medieval torture device from the Radical Flagellantism Sample Sale. The Ye Olde Bullwhip Emporium. The Apple Bottom Jousting and Tack Shop.
Forget comfort. How would it look under white pants? Regular pantylines are bad enough. Fancy trying to explain the two huge CIRCLES OF MYSTERY peeking through your summer linen.
Yo, look, I'm all for a body shapers. Spanx, corsets, push up bras, gut-sucking tights - yay! And bubbles is a fun company (slogan: Take Your Gluteus to the Maximus) that sells some cool, reasonably-priced stuff for bootyless gals, like padded underwear. But this particular item may be a new level of crazy. A wedgie gone bananas.
Then again, it could be a miracle product. Has anyone tried this? By all means, leave a fake name or stay anonymous. Or, heck, be bold and let it all hang out. This model certainly has.
~ Deal Diva Stephanie
Photo: Double-O Push-Up Thong, from lovemybubbles.com