Trend Test Drive: Textured tights
So, I'm wearing these textured black sweater tights today. They were $5.99 at Target, a totally reasonable Trend Test Drive fee.
As a tights-a-holic, I sort of love them in theory, but there's a problem. Every time I go to the bathroom and check myself in the mirror, the vertical lines running down my legs are all like WOOBLYWOBBLYWHATTHEHELLARGH. No matter how much I tug, they won't sit straight on my legs. It's like when people with sizable rears wear pinstripe pants. Suckers are gonna veer.
I look like Gumby, if Gumby had really good shoes.
I'm not sure how to rectify this, except to let you fair readers know that if you have curves of any kind, such as, you know, CALVES, this trend could look wack. Might want to put your $5.99 toward the solid variety.
Reporting from the field,
~ Deal Diva Stephanie
Photo: Times files