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Deal Divas

Stephanie Hayes, Katie Sanders, Kameel Stanley, & Keyonna Summers

My Outfit Monday: That time I tried on the stuff someone left behind in the dressing room

1

February

I have a real problem with people who leave piles of clothes in the dressing room. Like, how hard is it to bring the stuff out and put it on the return rack? The store pays people to put the clothes back for you! You don't even have to do it! You just have to move them from a hook to a rack slightly outside the dressing room. SINCE IT'S RANT TIME, I have the same problem with people who just drop their shopping carts in the middle of the parking lot at the grocery store. There is a cart bay LITERALLY RIGHT THERE!!!!11! PUSH IT TEN FEET! Think of all the good the Publix cart retriever could be doing with his life if he didn't have to squeeze between a Cadillac Escalade and a motorcycle with a side car to wedge a cart out of a bush because you were too busy to move it back to the designated spot! He could be inside kindly helping an elderly soul find an extra BOGO chicken of a similar weight! Pushing the cart into the cart bay and removing the clothes YOU selected and bringing them back out of the dressing room is a small but meaningful metaphor for the eventual collapse of society! This is a minimum expectation, and furthermore it is not at all challenging! Do we have to start leaving cookies near the return rack? I AM GOING TO STROKE OUT.

*deep healing breath*

Anyway, in the interest of keeping things on the positive tip, I recently decided to take my disdain for the general population and turn it into something productive. I was in Dillard's shopping for something to wear to a wedding, and everything I had picked out was a bust (why I thought even for a second I should wear a pink pleather crop top to someone's wedding, I'll never know). I was about to take my items back out of the dressing room (ahem) when I noticed the giant pile some person before me had neglected to put back. They were all relatively my size, and I was still in a shopping kind of mood, so I thought, "Stranger fashion show!"

It was an interesting experiment. The things that were Left Behind were not things I would have normally picked for myself. But I ended up liking them better than anything I did pick. It's like having a friend with you to point out different styles and push you to try new things, except that friend is silent and imaginary and won't ask you for the third time on the way to the boba tea stand in the mall if you think she looks fat in yellow (she doesn't) and if Kyle likes her (he doesn't).

My favorite was this royal blue skirt from Calvin Klein. I don't have much Calvin because I find them all to be cut extremely long, and I am the opposite of long. But this was a petite, cut for a shortie like me, and hit in all the right places. It was on sale, too, in the $30 range. I walked out with it, AND THE REST OF THE CLOTHES BECAUSE SOCIETY NEEDS US TO ALL WORK TOGETHER.

Today I paired it with a standard black turtleneck, black tights and the black fringe boots I have been wearing all "winter." They're Forever 21 knockoffs of a Guess pair I saw but didn't want to $pend mo' money on. I topped it off with some NY&Co. jewels I snagged on the same shopping trip/social experiment mentioned above.

That brings us to My Outfit Monday. While walking back from lunch today, Times photographer Eve Edelheit spotted this car in St. Pete and thought it would make a perfect photo backdrop. I agreed, but I just want whoever owns this car to know I at no time touched it, because touching cars that don't belong to you is kind of like leaving your grocery cart in the middle of the parking lot. 

Also fun: Deal Diva Michelle and I accidentally dressed the same, AGAIN. Check out the second photo in the slides. You'll recall our bargain bin green dresses. I guess we really do need to call each other every morning and check what the other is wearing. Either that or we can just talk about how we're on a downward spiral and pretty soon people will be leaving their dressing room cast-offs in a pile in the toilet.

*Shavasana*

[Last modified: Monday, February 1, 2016 6:37pm]

    

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