Weird news file: $110 cow cologne targets fashionable, hipster urban cowboys
Cops today didn't say what may have prompted a farmer's cows to escape their Tarpon Springs pen and frolic alongside traffic down busy U.S. 19.
But if a report from Modern Farmer magazine is any indication, the animals' owner may want to look into a new product that might help prevent a repeat performance.
According to the article, Lisa Brodar, who owns the Portland (Maine) General Store known for its blends of natural, rustic male-oriented fragrances and grooming products, recently released her latest creation: A cow-friendly cologne targeted at the urban cowboy. The fragrance goes for $110 a vial.
Yes, you read right. A luxury perfume primarily intended to attract bovine -- not human -- ladies.
The cologne's backstory is a thing of seeming urban legend.
Brodar was reportedly inspired by an online post recounting the woes of a Canadian farmer who realized his cows were "acting weird" because they were repulsed by his odor -- specifically the artificially-scented laundry detergent his wife had started using.
So, Bodar concocted a mix of natural and essential oils like sandalwood, violet leaf, sage, cedar and blue tansy, which carry a "woody, earthen musk, with only a hint of the pungency found in mainstream fragrance."
Apparently, cows LOOOOVE it! Testing at a small dairy farm resulted in calmed cows whose milk production increased all while turning very friendly, rubbing up against their human tester.
(For her part, Brodar doesn't necessarily see ranchers as her key clientele. She envisions the cologne will also appeal to city hipsters who like to party yet still have a soft spot for the homestead. Her biggest customers so far hail from major cities like Chicago, New York City and San Francisco.)
I'll insert my apologies to the fellas here. While the cologne is described as pleasant-smelling to humans in general, there was unfortunately no word on whether the cologne is as successful at amping up the friendly factor in the female cows' homo sapien counterparts.
But the thought of urban cowboys getting out there and attempting to lasso a lady with it makes me giggle. Anyone out there brave enough to try? Let me know the results!