Spoof: Nation's schools held back a year
As we prepare for the new school year, with new teacher and principal evaluations looming, how about a little laugh from the Onion?
NATION'S SCHOOL SYSTEMS HELD BACK A YEAR
WASHINGTON—Having continued to display learning deficits and a failure to reach basic educational milestones, the nation's school systems will be asked to repeat the academic year, sources confirmed Friday.
"We know this is disappointing news, but we believe it's for the best," said Education Secretary Arne Duncan, who pointed out that many underperforming schools glide under the radar for years without achieving any kind of proficiency in math, reading, or science. "An extra year will give America's school systems some time to get a better handle on the subject matter so they can catch up with the other nations."
Duncan added that allowing school systems to continue on without meeting minimum standards wouldn't be fair to all the kids who come to school every day prepared to learn.