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Michelle Branch gets custody of her own music in divorce

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It’s Goodbye to You at last. Michelle Branch and ex-husband Teddy Landau have finalized their divorce — nine months after filing.

TMZ obtained the divorce documents because of course they did, and it looks like Branch will get to keep all of her musical compositions, demos, master recordings and royalties, as it would seem it should be. Landau will get custody of a Ford Mustang and 2015 GMC truck as well as some property.

About their 10-year-old daughter: The couple will share custody with a week-on, week-off schedule, and since there’s no child-support plan in place, it would seem they’ll split child care costs.

The pair were married for a whopping 11 years, so that’s sort of a success, right?

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Ex-boyfriend Safaree Samuels suing Nicki Minaj

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Now we know who was Right By [Her] Side when Nicki Minaj was recording three of her successful albums.

According to TMZ, ex-boyfriend Safaree Samuels is lawyering up to seek a cut from the Pink Print, Pink Friday and Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded. He also wants some of the rights to Only featuring Chris Brown, Drake and Lil Wayne, Flawless (Remix) with Beyonce and Feeling Myself with Beyonce.

Word is Samuels has a ton of proof that he was extremely instrumental in crafting the three albums. Evidence supposedly includes videos of the pair working together, voice memos from recording sessions and hours of footage from the studio.

Sources say Samuels’ lawsuit is “imminent.”

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Blake Shelton rescues four men from Oklahoma mud hole


Blake Shelton is making headlines for something other than dating Gwen Stefani.

The Hillbilly Bone singer and noted wife-leaver found a bunch of fellow country boys stuck in a mud hole near the Washita River in Ardmore, Okla., on Friday.

“Me and my buddies were checking out the river, when some of my buddies [accidentally] slid into a big mud hole and got stuck for about two hours,” Bryar Blanton told Entertainment Tonight. “Me and [my friend] Adrian started walking down the road [looking for help] and Blake and his dog, Betty, stopped and picked us up in his truck.”

Shelton tried to tow the guys out without success.

“He said he’d be back in 15 minutes with his tractor. He came back and got us out and chatted for a minute and talked to us about hunting,” Blanton told E! News. “Blake is an all around good caring guy.”

Blanton thanked Shelton on Twitter, garnering the response, “No problem. Now you boys stay outta jail!!! Ha!!!”

Now, the H word is being thrown around to describe the Voice judge.

“If it wasn’t for Blake, I would have been out there for countless hours,” Blanton said. “And yeah I would say he is a hero.”

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Charlie Sheen to make ‘revealing personal announcement’ as HIV rumors swirl

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The rumor began on the Internet last month. On Monday, just as a National Enquirer report claimed that Charlie Sheen is HIV positive, NBC released a statement saying the 50-year-old actor is set to make a “revealing personal announcement” in a sit-down with Matt Lauer.

Could it be that Sheen’s admitted drug use and penchant for prostitutes and porn stars have brought him to peak cautionary-tale status?

To be clear: It is not confirmed what the troubled Two and a Half Men alum will speak about in the Today show studio some time between 7 a.m. and 11 a.m. Tuesday. (The interview will be posted on after it airs.) But on Monday, the National Enquirer claimed that the Anger Management actor was the big Tinseltown name behind the story it published last month with the headline “Hollywood Superstar’s Desperate Battle With AIDS!”

That item fueled a frenzy of speculation, with many readers suggesting that Sheen fit the profile. The tabloid on Monday added sordid details about the alleged scandal surrounding TV’s once highest-paid actor, promising that a lengthy tell-all would hit stands on Nov. 18 following an 18-month investigation into the very private matter. …

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It’s a girl for Mike Myers and Kelly Tisdale

The proud parents.

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The proud parents.

I thought it was super sweet when Vin Diesel named his daughter after Paul Walker my middle name, but now Mike Myers is jumping on board, too. Thanks, guys!

Myers and his wife, Kelly Tisdale, welcomed baby girl Paulina Kathleen in New York City on Monday, the Associated Press reports. The couple are “elated” to announce Paulina’s arrival, Myers’ rep said.

The actress-singer and Wayne’s World star (yes, we are intentionally forgetting about that franchise of British spy movies, may they R.I.P.) share two other kids, Spike, 4, and Sunday Molly, 18 months. Myers, 52, and Tisdale, 34, wed in 2010 after four years of dating.

“It’s the happiest time in my life,” Myers said on Jimmy Kimmel Live! last November. “I always wanted to have kids. I always thought I would like it, of course, I didn’t know I was going to love it.”

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It was over almost before it started: The Unofficial Joe Jonas and Gigi Hadid Story

But they looked so happy together.

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But they looked so happy together.

This year’s theme: All the celebrities are breaking up, even barely couple of five months, Joe Jonas and Gigi Hadid.

Insiders say the pair’s schedules were putting too much strain on their budding romance.

“Joe and Gigi’s relationship recently ended,” a source told People magazine. “Nothing serious happened … It wasn’t a dramatic break up. It was just hard to make it work with their schedules. They will definitely remain friends.”

Moving on.

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Serena Williams chases down thief, toots her own horn

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Serena Williams won Facebook on Wednesday, tooting her own horn with a post that detailed a dramatic scene involving the tennis star, a Chinese restaurant and a phone thief.

“Soooooo yesterday at dinner the CRAZIEST THING happened to me,” the post began.

Williams was dining with a friend when she noticed a man who was acting suspicious.

“He was there too long,” she wrote. “'Is he a customer?’ I thought. 'Is he waiting on the bathroom?’”

Williams kept her eye on the man when suddenly he grabbed her phone from the seat next to her. We’ll let Williams take it from here:

“I jumped up, weaved my way in and out of the cozy restaurant (leaping over a chair or two) and chased him down. He began to run but I was too fast. (Those sprints came in handy.) I was upon him in a flash!”

She calmly asked the man if he “accidentally” took the wrong phone as it was ringing with a FaceTime call for Williams. The man said he did and handed it over. …

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Prepare yourselves for a rerun: Trevor Noah has emergency appendectomy

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Emergency surgery is all the rage. First my dog; now Trevor Noah.

The Daily Show host is playing hooky today as he recovers from an appendectomy, Comedy Central said in a statement.

“Trevor Noah underwent an emergency appendectomy early this morning. We’re happy to report the procedure went well and he is currently recuperating from the surgery,” the statement read. “As a result, the Daily Show will air an encore tonight. We expect he and the show will be back with an original episode tomorrow.”

Gee, “encore” is such a nice way of saying you’ll be watching old news if you happen to tune in, which why would you, for so many reasons?

In other Trevor Noah news, the comic is getting his own standup special on Comedy Central. Trevor Noah: Lost in Translation will debut Nov. 22 at 10 p.m.

Noah will stand rather than sit while “sharing his outlook on the world today, including terrorism, racial tensions in America and what it was like being African and traveling into the United States during the Ebola crisis.”

Sounds uplifting.

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Justin Bieber: 'I'm never going to stop loving' Selena Gomez

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“I’m never going to stop loving her. I’m never going to stop checking in on her.”

That's what Justin Bieber said when he opened up about ex-girlfriend Selena Gomez, who he basically just doomed to never have a healthy relationship because she has a creeper for life.

When asked how much of his new album, Purpose, was inspired by his former flame, the 21-year-old told Access Hollywood, “A lot of it, dude. A lot of it.”

Three tracks were written specifically about Gomez, whom Bieber called his “first real love.” The singer recorded a fourth song about the Come & Get It singer called If I Would Have Met You In Five Years, but it didn’t make the cut.

“How true is that?” Bieber asked. “How many people go through life and end up meeting someone and it feels so right, but it’s just the wrong time? So many people can relate to that.”

So, the burning question that keeps us up at night: Will these two reconcile?

Gomez has said she wouldn’t rule it out. As for Bieber, “I don’t know if I’m over it yet,” he said, adding, “I don’t know what is going to happen in the future. I think we both gotta do some soul searching ourselves and figure out ourselves before we can just try to figure out each other.”

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Jon Stewart signs four-year deal with HBO

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“Appearing on television 22 minutes a night clearly broke me. I’m pretty sure I can produce a few minutes of content every now and again.”

That's what Jon Stewart said about his new four-year, exclusive production deal with HBO.

Less than three months after signing off the Daily Show, Stewart will begin working on digital short projects for apps HBO Now and HBO Go, developing “timely short-form digital content” that will be refreshed several times a day and will “view current events through his unique prism.”

The deal with HBO also includes an option for a TV series and other projects, according to the network.

“Jon Stewart led a revolution that changed the face of TV comedy on the Daily Show,” said HBO president of programming Michael Lombardo in a press release. “He graced our network nearly 20 years ago, so we’re thrilled to welcome back his immense talents in this next chapter of his career.”

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Derek Jeter marrying Hannah Davis, now that he has nothing better to do

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Permabachelor, be gone!

Derek Jeter, man of many a famous lady (including but not limited to Mariah Carey, Minka Kelly, Jessica Biel, Jessica Alba, Jordana Brewster and Adriana Lima), is giving up on his single-guy ways and settling down with Hannah Davis, one of the most strikingly beautiful Sports Illustrated swimsuit models the world has ever know.

Also, the girl in the DirecTV commercials with the horse and the beach. You know the ones.

“She already has the ring,” a source tells the New York Daily News of the most important aspect of this life event. “The family is very happy because they really like him.”

The Captain and the 25-year-old Victoria’s Secret model have been together for three years, and word is he asked her father for her hand in marriage months ago.

“He proposed on Sunday,” a source told Page Six. “It was for their anniversary.”

Jeter, 41, retired from his 20-year baseball career in 2014, so he’s all like, I guess marriage is something I could do now, since I’m bored. …

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Khloe Kardashian: Lamar Odom and I are not a couple

Could have fooled us.

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Could have fooled us.

The burning question the entire world has obsessing over has finally been answered, sort of.

“There are too many other important things, too many medical things. It’s not even in our brains thinking about us as a couple or having a relationship right now.”

That's what Khloe Kardashian said about her husband, Lamar Odom, in an interview with People magazine.

“I loved him always, and I will always love him,” she said. “I don’t believe love is fickle. I believe when you love someone, you are allowed to love from afar. You don’t have to be with that person in order to love him.”

Speaking on Odom’s condition, Kardashian said, “The fact that he woke up was definitely a sigh of relief for everybody. Every hour is different. It goes up and it goes down but he’s awake. He’s alive and that’s all I wanted, was for him to be okay.”

From here on out, though, his recovery is up to him.

“There is a very long road ahead of [Lamar],” Kardashian said. “He has to walk that road by himself, and, most importantly, he has to want to walk that road. I will be there supporting him every step of the way.” …

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Blake Shelton talks Miranda Lambert, 'awkward' CMAs

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“This year’s gonna be awkward at the CMAs," said Blake Shelton, 39, on Late Night With Seth Meyers, referring to his divorce from Miranda Lambert, 31, his wife of four years.

“It’s such a family,” The Voice coach continued. “Everybody there is friends. There’s gotta be [a joke] about me and Miranda. [Host] Brad Paisley is not doing his job if he doesn’t look down there and go 'Ha ha!’ You have to address the elephant in the room. We’ve had the conversations like, 'Okay, dude. I’ll sit there and let you kick me in the face a few times.’ I know it’s coming.”

The CMAs air on Wednesday.

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Newlywed alert: Standup comic Tig Notaro marries Stephanie Allynne

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“Everyone at my wedding reception danced like I was watching.”

That's what comedian Tig Notaro, 44, tweeted after marrying her longtime love, Stephanie Allynne, on Saturday.

According to Us Weekly, the pair got hitched in Pass Christian, Miss., Notaro’s hometown. Friends and family were there, but the only attendees who really matter are the ones whose names we’ve heard before: Lucy Lawless, Lake Bell, Alicia Silverstone, Sarah Silverman and Jessica Williams.

Notaro and Allynne met on the set of Bell’s film In a World in 2013. They got engaged on New Year’s Day this year.

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Backstreet baby is on the way for Nick Carter and Lauren Kitt

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Nick Carter and wife Lauren Kitt are expecting their first child, and inquiring minds want to know: Will it be a Backstreet Boy or Girl?

“They are so happy and overjoyed,” an insider told Us Weekly of the I Heart Nick Carter stars. “They’ve been trying and waiting for such a long time.”

Kitt is about four months along.

The Dancing With the Stars contestant popped the question with a 7-carat sparkler in February 2013. The couple wed in April of last year in a Santa Barbara, Calif., ceremony that included bandmates AJ McLean, Howie Dorough and Brian Littrell.

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