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Amy Schumer and Jennifer Lawrence are friends and now we can die happy

Amy Schumer, J-Law, Jet Ski: These are a few of our favorite things.

Instagram/@amyschumer

Amy Schumer, J-Law, Jet Ski: These are a few of our favorite things.

There’s a new girl squad in town, and you don’t have to be built like a supermodel to be a part of this one. Jennifer Lawrence and Amy Schumer are friends, it would seem, and the proof is in the Instagram post.

“#JLaw #maniac,” Schumer captioned a snap of the pair Jet Skiing on vacation together because that’s exactly what Hollywood’s cool girls should be doing every day forever and always. Schumer also posted a pic of their crew floating around in the ocean somewhere being super fun and probably swearing up a storm while talking reality TV.

The only thing missing from this magical formula: Kristen Wiig. And us. And wine.

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Guy Ritchie locks down his gal, Jacqui Ainsley

The happy (?) couple.

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The happy (?) couple.

Wedding bells were ringing for Guy Ritchie and model Jacqui Ainsley on Thursday as the couple exchanged vows at their home in Wiltshire, England.

Guests included Brad Pitt, David Beckham, Jason Statham and Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Us Weekly reports.

“Congratulations to @Jacquiainsley and @realguyritchie love and best wishes to you on your wedding day x vb,” Victoria Beckham wrote on Instagram. “#jaxguyjuly.”

Many attendees slept in white tents and teepees on the property after the celebration.

Ritchie, 46, and Ainsley, 33, have been together since 2010 and are parents to Rafael, 3, Rivka, 2, and Levi, 13 months. This is Ritchie’s second marriage, obviously. Everyone knows he and Madonna were a legally wedded thing for eight years around the turn of the century.

“I enjoyed my first marriage. It’s definitely not something I regret,” the Sherlock Holmes director told Details magazine. “The experience was ultimately very positive. I love the kids that came out of it, and I could see no other route to take.”

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Khloe Kardashian, Lamar Odom divorce almost finalized

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Two years after separating, Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom have finally given up on whatever it was they were doing this whole time. Reconsidering, procrastinating, squeezing every last ounce of publicity out of this thing, the usj. (That’s usual for short, which is pointless because now we’re having to write this explainer.)

Kardashian, 31, filed for divorce in 2013 but took no action for a year, prompting a judge to threaten to dismiss the case. Now though, the reality star and 35-year-old NBA player have signed the required legal docs, according to TMZ, and a judge is expected to make a final ruling any day.

This is great for KK because now she can date James Harden sans marriage guilt, and Odom can’t get his hands on her soon-to-be baby or A&E money.

What’s that, you say?

Anonymous sources tell Radar Online that Kardashian, 31, has come to the realization that she don’t need no stinkin’ man to spawn another K-word, and rumor has it she’s planning to jump on the parenting train soon — right after she starts her new gig as host of the FYI show Kocktails with Khloe, that is. …

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Melanie Griffith, Antonio Banderas sign divorce papers

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Must have been a busy day down at the dumpin’ office because Melanie Griffith and Antonio Banderas have signed the papers to make their divorce official. All the couple of 18 years awaits is a judge’s signature to end the year-long process, according to Entertainment Tonight.

Perhaps these two were sticking it out for their kid because daughter Stella just turned 18 last month. So hurray, at least there won’t be any custody dispute to write about.

Griffith, 57, filed for her fourth divorce in June 2014. She was married to Steve Bauer once and Don Johnson twice, which makes us wonder if she can get her Antonio tattoo un-removed sometime in the future. Banderas, by the way, was formerly attached to actress Ana Leza.

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Cheating? Babies? What sparked the Blake Shelton-Miranda Lambert split?

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The world wants answers. How could such a shiny couple fall apart so fast?

Rumors that Blake Shelton was cheating on Miranda Lambert started pretty soon after the country superstars got married in 2011, so who knows on that front. But now, word is Shelton filed for divorce when he discovered it was Lambert who was unfaithful to him — not once, but twice.

Sources tell TMZ that Shelton heard Lambert was cheating on him with another country singer, Chris Young. The pair were seen out and about every now and again, but TMZ’s sources say there was no hard evidence, only enough chatter to raise suspicion.

Young, 30, responded to the rumors via Twitter on Tuesday, writing, "I don't normally address gossip but in this case I will. My name has been mentioned as a contributing factor in Blake and Miranda's divorce. That is totally FALSE. They are both my friends and I would not betray that friendship. Just wanted to clear that up."

The insiders say Shelton filed for divorce two weeks ago because he received information that proved that Lambert had been with a second man. Shelton told her to remove her animals from his Oklahoma ranch and get to gettin’.

But is it true? …

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Fantasia ties the knot

Instagram/@tasiasworld

Spotted: a little good news in the miserable sea of celebrity relationships. Fantasia Barrino is married and super pumped about being a newlywed.

The American Idol Season 3 winner and fiance Kendall Taylor got hitched on Sunday, and Fantasia sure has the Instagrams to prove it. The couple tied the knot on a luxury yacht, and their color scheme was black, white and red all over, something we absolutely needed to know and see up-close a thousand times. Looking gorgeous as usual, the 31-year-old singer carried a bedazzled red rose bouquet and rocked a long-sleeve lace gown to match her husband’s white suit.

The Lose To Win singer, who survived a suicide attempt in 2010, is hoping that this relationship will be the happy ending she’s been dreaming of.

“No more Hurt because King Kendall will never let that happen,” she wrote. “… Be Happy with me you guys cause I’ve been thru SOOOOO much. Some stuff was my wrong decisions but all I ever really wanted was this. Real Love. This Man and this smile is real.”

The 2004 Idol winner is mom to son Dallas, 3, and daughter Zion, 13. Taylor, COO of a North Carolina courier company, popped the question in November.

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Bruce Springsteen plays surprise show in tiny Jersey bar

Twitter/@WPIX

Imagine this: You’re strolling around Asbury Park, N.J., just minding your own business when suddenly you hear the live sounds of Bruce Springsteen thumping inside a local dive.

The Boss performed 15 songs during a surprise performance at the Wonder Bar on the Jersey shore Saturday night, joining Joe Grushecky and the Houserockers, his friend’s band that he’s appeared with many, many times over the years.

According to the Associated Press, the show ended with the song Light of Day, which Springsteen dedicated to the crowd that gathered on the sidewalk because they couldn’t get into the packed watering hole.

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Jeremih’s birthday surprise: a DUI

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We bet Jeremih will remember this more than even the best Birthday Sex. The R&B singer rang in his big 2-8 in the clink on Friday morning after being busted for drunken driving.

Jeremih was pulled over in L.A.’s San Fernando Valley around 2:15 a.m. and was booked an hour later for misdemeanor DUI, according to TMZ.

Jeremih posted $15,000 bail and was released around 11 a.m., which gave him plenty of time to drive to San Diego and party at ParQ Restaurant  & Nightclub later that night.

We just hope he called Uber afterward.

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'Aladdin' is getting a Genie-centric prequel

Disney

We are in a glass case — or a magic lamp — of emotion, for there is going to be an Aladdin prequel, centered around Genie, who obviously can not be voiced by the late, irreplaceable Robin Williams.

It seems so glorious, but also too soon.

The placating news: Genies will be live-action, thus sparing us the unbearable thought of that quirky cartoon face living on without the comedic genius that made him so lovable. In the film, we’ll learn all about where genies come from and how Genie got trapped in that lamp in the first place.

Ready for things to get weird?

The movie will be penned by Damian Shannon and Mark Swift, the screenwriting team behind Freddy vs. Jason and the 2009 version of Friday the 13th — oh, and also the film adaptation of Baywatch.

Genies joins The Jungle Book, Pete’s Dragon, Beauty and the Beast, Night on Bald Mountain, Dumbo, Prince Charming, Winnie the Pooh and Mulan as Walt Disney Pictures’ currently announced live-action adaptations.

Here’s hoping Disney can score as ideal a Genie as Angelina Jolie was Maleficent.

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Louis Tomlinson of One Direction is accidentally going to be a dad

Oops.

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Oops.

Well. We did not see this coming.

One Direction singer Louis Tomlinson is going to be a dad.
We repeat: Louis Tomlinson is going to be responsible for a real-life human baby’s welfare.

The British boy band member accidentally impregnated Los Angeles stylist Briana Jungwirth, whom he considers a “friend.”

“Louis is happy and very excited about becoming a dad and he thinks Briana will be an amazing mother,” a mutual friend of the pair tells People. “It was a surprise at first, but he and Briana are very, very close friends and this has brought them even closer.”

It was a quick development for Tomlinson, who was first spotted with Jungwirth just a couple months after his split from longtime love Eleanor Calder in March.

Word is the 23-year-old plans to be a “hands-on dad” when baby arrives in 2016, and his track record pre-diapers, sleepless nights, feedings and teething is actually pretty good so far. Tomlinson is reportedly looking for a place in L.A. and has traveled across the globe to attend every ultrasound to date, which is more than most dads can say. …

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Jimmy Fallon back at 'Tonight Show' after freak finger injury

NBC via AP

Now would be the time to look away if you, like we, hate reading about tendons, veins and gruesome kitchen accidents. You’ve been warned.

After two weeks away and much speculation, a bandaged Jimmy Fallon returned to the Tonight Show on Monday after partially recovering from a mysterious hand injury. Well, said injury is a mystery no more because Fallon gave his viewers the detes on his almost-amputated ring finger, which we will now present to you because we love you so much.

As the story goes, Fallon was minding his own business in his kitchen one night when his wife’s beloved, braided devil rug jumped up and tripped him. The comedian tried to catch himself, but that proved to be the most ill-fated instinct ever, because his wedding band somehow got caught on a counter top, which just doesn’t seem like a thing that could actually happen. But it did.

Sounds not so bad, right? Wrong.

“I tripped and fell and I caught my fall,” Fallon said. “… I’m getting up and my finger is sideways.” …

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Carrie Underwood’s baby rescued from locked car

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We imagine Carrie Underwood would have shattered every window, but it only took one good smash to rescue her baby boy from inside a locked car on Saturday.

Okay, so technically the Blown Away singer didn’t save the day herself. It was her brother-in-law who freed 4-month-old Isaiah from inside Underwood’s car after one of the family’s dogs locked the doors.

“When your dogs manage to lock themselves, all your stuff & the baby in the car & you have to break the window to get in,” the 32-year-old tweeted. “#WhatAreTheChances.”

Everyone can relax, though. The situation wasn’t as scary as it first may have seemed. The Grammy winner’s rep told Page Six that the car’s air conditioning was running and the incident “happened very, very fast.”

Whew.

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John Stamos enters rehab weeks after DUI arrest

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How to keep your image squeaky clean: Step 1: Don’t get a DUI. Step 2: When you do get a DUI, immediately enter rehab.

John Stamos knows what’s up. The handsome, wholesome Full House alum just checked himself into a residential rehabilitation clinic for substance abuse treatment, People reports. This on the heels of his June 12 DUI arrest, which landed him in the hospital to investigate a possible medical condition.

The 51-year-old actor’s workload, which includes filming for Fox’s Grandfathered and Netflix’s Fuller House, will have to be put on hold for the time being.

Stamos has kept rather quiet since his Beverly Hills arrest, mentioning it only in this tweet: “Thanks to everyone for their love & support. I’m home & well.”

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Jennie Garth marries David Abrams

Jennie and Dave, sittin' in a vintage church pew.

Instagram/@jenniegarth

Jennie and Dave, sittin' in a vintage church pew.

Jennie Garth is starting to become a pro at marriage. Or at least at getting married. The 90210 alum wed David Abrams, her boyfriend of eight months, on Saturday night in Los Angeles.

“It was the perfect night,” the couple told People. “We are so happy to have our family and friends surrounding us on this special occasion!”

The couple tied the knot in Garth’s backyard. Guests — including Garth’s daughters, Luca, 17, Lola, 12, and Fiona, 8 — sat on vintage church pews during the outdoor, shabby-chic ceremony, Us Weekly reports. The bride wore a long-sleeved gown with pink flowers and wore her hair in a low, side bun.

Garth, 43, met Abrams, 34, during a blind date last fall. The pair got engaged in March.

“Dave had been working on the [proposal] for months, and really wanted to plan something special for her around her birthday and make it perfect,” an insider told People.

Not like Garth was expecting anything.

“Things just lined up and I was like, 'I don’t need it, I don’t want it,’ and there it came,” she said. …

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Bobby Brown welcomes baby girl

From left: Cassius, Bobby and Alicia. Oh, and now-born baby girl.

Instagram/@kingbobbybrown

From left: Cassius, Bobby and Alicia. Oh, and now-born baby girl.

Finally, some good news for Bobby Brown. The singer and wife Alicia Etheridge welcomed their second child together, a girl.

No word yet on the little one’s name, but she arrived at Cedars-Sinai Hospital in Los Angeles on Saturday, Entertainment Tonight reports. The couple, who wed in 2012, are also parents to son Cassius, 5.

Baby girl makes six children for the My Prerogative singer, who is dad to Bobbi Kristina Brown, daughter of the late Whitney Houston. Bobbi Kristina, 22, remains in hospice care after being found face-down in her bathtub in January.

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