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ATTN: New Jersey — Steven Tyler is not coming to a strawberry farm near you

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Dream On, patrons of Windsor Farm & Market in West Windsor, N.J. Steven Tyler doesn’t care about you as much as you think he does.

Police — we repeat: police — have alerted township residents that the Aerosmith frontman is not in fact performing at their U-pick strawberry farm on Saturday morning. The American Idol judge was listed on ReverbNation and Eventful for said show, but it’s not happening, obviously, and neither site has commented on the mistake/prank, the Associated Press reports.

Farm owner Wayne Kalinowski realized something weird was going on when a woman called to ask about the venue. Still no word on who posted the event, so we’ll just have to live with never knowing.

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Keira Knightley welcomes new baby with James Righton

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Huzzah, for Keira Knightley’s baby has arrived. No word yet on the gender or any other details of the actress’s newborn, but Us Weekly confirms that she or he has in fact been born.

The Imitation Game star and her rocker husband, James Righton, have been pretty tight-lipped about their relationship and the pregnancy. They first went public as a couple in 2011 and quietly married in the south of France in 2013.

The end.

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Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson dethrones selfie queen Kim Kardashian

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Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson just put Kim Kardashian to shame.

The former wrestler and crazy-smiling actor became lord of the selfies late last week when he broke the Guinness World Record for the most selfies in three minutes. The Furious 7 star achieved the feat by snapping photos with fans at the premiere for his upcoming film San Andreas outside London’s Odeon Leicester Square.

According to the organization, “Guinness World Records adjudicator Mark McKinley ensured that selfie rules were followed, with requirements including the full face and neck of participants being viewable and that the images were focused, with recognizable faces and no blurring. Several selfies were disqualified, but a total of 105 were accepted to achieve the record title.”

Other selfie-related winners: Patrick Peterson (Most Self-Portrait Photographs Taken in One Hour) and Atasun Optik (Largest Online Photo Album of Self-Portrait Photographs).

We wonder which honor Johnson prizes more: his new record or his handprints cemented outside Hollywood’s TCL Chinese Theatre, a recognition he received last week.

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Casey Wilson welcomes baby with producer David Caspe

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It's a new beginning for Happy Endings star Casey Wilson. The actress is finally through with her rocky pregnancy, and now she gets to experience the rocky first months of motherhood.

The Marry Me alum and show creator David Caspe welcomed their first child, a boy, on Thursday.

“I felt tired and sick and in a fog, like an extreme hangover, until about week 16,” the 34-year-old told Fit Pregnancy. “I thought, 'Surely, this is the worst part of parenting.’ Then I remembered when I was 15.”

The Gone Girl actress was feeling much better during her third trimester, which is good because her producer husband was busy soaking up her pregnancy perks.

“He won’t allow me my comforts,” Wilson joked to People in March. “I got this big pregnancy pillow and he’s taken both of them for his own back and neck and shoulders. He’s like, 'This is the best invention. This pregnancy pillow is everything I’ve ever wanted.’ ”

It’s all good, though, because Wilson got exactly what she wanted in the end. …

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Flavor Flav accused of Vegas DUI

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Here are some things that don’t mix: Speeding — by a lot — and possessing marijuana and an open container of alcohol. Just ask Flavor Flav, who was clocked (See what we did there?) going 73 mph in a 45 mph zone in the wee hours of Thursday in Las Vegas.

Authorities tell the Associated Press that the 56-year-old was arrested on allegations of driving under the influence, speeding, possessing less than an ounce of pot and having an open container of alcohol in the BMW he was driving. Probably didn’t help that he was driving with a suspended license and registration, either.

The entertainer is facing a bunch of misdemeanor charges. As yet, it is unknown whether he plans to Fight the Power.

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Family responds to Josh Duggar molestation accusations

Josh Duggar has resigned from his position at the Family Research Council in the wake of the allegations becoming public.

AP

Josh Duggar has resigned from his position at the Family Research Council in the wake of the allegations becoming public.

Josh Duggar of 19 Kids and Counting is responding to reports that he molested five underage girls several years ago, saying he "would do anything to go back to those teen years and take different actions."

Duggar, now 27 but 14 at the time of the incident, joined his wife, Anna, and parents Jim Bob and Michelle in responding to the In Touch report through a statement posted on Facebook.

"Twelve years ago, as a young teenager," Josh wrote, "I acted inexcusably for which I am extremely sorry and deeply regret. I hurt others, including my family and close friends. I confessed this to my parents who took several steps to help me address the situation. We spoke with the authorities where I confessed my wrongdoing, and my parents arranged for me and those affected by my actions to receive counseling. I understood that if I continued down this wrong road that I would end up ruining my life." …

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Alfonso Ribeiro named host of 'America's Funniest Home Videos'

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Fun fact No. 1: America’s Funniest Home Videos, though seemingly taped 20 years ago, is in fact a current television show that puts out new episodes on the regular. Fun fact No. 2: Alfonso Ribeiro (Fresh Prince’s Carlton, former Dancing With the Stars champ) is succeeding host extraordinaire Tom Bergeron.

The news was announced during the DWTS finale on Tuesday night, where Ribeiro performed. The Silver Spoons actor will be the show’s fifth host, following in the footsteps of Bergeron, OG Bob Saget, Daisy Fuentes and John Fugelsang.

As for how the show might change, “It won’t be very different,” Ribeiro told Entertainment Weekly. “It’s really about assisting the videos not trying to overpower the videos with your comedy. But I have a different energy than Tom does and I’m very animated and energetic, and some of that will absolutely come through. I’m sure it will be dance-related in some form. ... For me to able to come in and replace Tom, who’s my idol in the hosting world, will be a challenge but one that I feel excited to be a part of.” …

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Miley Cyrus gets creative in new dead-pet serenade

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Oh dear. At first it was funny when Miley Cyrus began singing about her dead blowfish Pablow. And then, well, it devolved into sobbing.

The Wrecking Ball singer — who famously and tearfully serenaded a gigantic blowup replica of her dead dog Floyd — just released a new video for the Happy Hippie Foundation, which helps homeless, LGBT and other vulnerable youth. In it, she wears a unicorn onesie and sings lyrics along the lines of:

How can I love someone I’ve never touched / You lived under the water but I love you so much.

It gets a tad — okay, a ton — more depressing after that, with Cyrus begging the question, Why did everything I loved have to die? and singing, Thought keeping you small meant keeping you safe / If I could do it again I’d release you to sea / Cause I can’t bear to see something so wild just die in a tank.

Someone get Miley some Bupropion, stat.

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In PETA ad, Pam Anderson makes feeling guilty look good

Pam Anderson’s still got it. Her looks, that is. And her passion for animals. And her ability to make her recent ex wish he wasn’t her recent ex.

Okay, so we’re making an assumption on that last one. We’d have to fact check with Rick Salomon to be sure. But we digress.

Here’s the Baywatch babe re-enacting that famous shower scene from Psycho in a new PETA ad that kindly reminds us that eating animals is the worst thing we can do for the planet and the animals and ourselves.

“Meat and dairy farms drain half the country’s water,” the ad reads. “Making a splash for the environment doesn’t just mean shorter showers. Try vegan.”

Anderson posed for the photo in response to the California’s chronic drought and also the world’s chronic meat-eating problem.

“Rivers are siphoned off, not just for the animals, but also for crops grown to feed animals on factory farms,” Anderson told Us Weekly. “Producing 1 pound of beef uses as much water as about six months of showers.” Food for thought.

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Josh Brolin engaged to former assistant Kathryn Boyd

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Kathryn Boyd appeared to have fun on Tuesday showing off her latest accessory to the common people, and that would be the engagement ring she just received from Josh Brolin, for whom she used to work as an assistant.

Just one day after announcing their perfectly timed engagement, Boyd and the Gangster Squad actor, 47, stepped out on the Cannes red carpet for the premiere of Brolin’s new film Sicario (so we know Boyd must have been wearing heels under her ruffled, burnt orange gown).

The couple, who have been together for two years now, got engaged last month and were recently spotted in Cabo San Lucas celebrating with friends.

“They were with two tables worth of people so it was a big group, more than eight people,” an anonymous source told Us Weekly. “They had a fixed menu and it seemed like they were celebrating something… It looked like a party and it seemed celebratory.”

This will be the third marriage for Brolin, who ended eight years of marriage to Diane Lane just one month before dating Boyd, and who was married to Alice Adair from 1988 to 1994. Brolin and Adair have two children together — Trevor, 26, and Eden, 20.

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Cannes turns away women who wear flats

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I prefer heels over flats more than any other person on earth. Seriously, my Achilles tendons are likely irreversibly damaged from all the not stretching I’ve doing to them since I was probably 8 years old.

But Cannes? Cannes has taken its affinity for stilts to an outrageous level. The annual film festival has come under fire after reports emerged that women — some of whom were reportedly older and disabled — were turned away from the premiere of Cate Blanchett’s film Carol because they were wearing flats, not heels, on the red carpet.

So much for all that awareness about sexism in Hollywood.

Screen Daily first reported the story and said the festival had confirmed that heels were required for women who attend red carpet screenings. However, festival director Thierry Fremaux said the rumors were “unfounded.”

Tweeted Fermaux: “For the stairs, the regulations have not changed: 'No smoking, formal wear’. There is no mention of heels.”

Indeed, the festival’s website says the dress code is “black tie/evening dress” with no rules for heel height. …

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Melissa Rivers: Kathy Griffin 's--- all over' Joan Rivers' legacy

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And the award for Shade Thrower of the Day goes to... Melissa Rivers for this gem:

“My biggest complaint was the feeling that she kind of s--- all over my mother’s legacy in her statement on leaving, and I know that was not an intentional reading of it, but that’s how I felt. That was my takeaway, by [her] calling the comedy and the style of it old-fashioned. It’s like, I understand what you’re doing, you’re trying to save yourself, but don’t crap all over my mother to do it.”

That's what Melissa Rivers told Today’s Hoda Kotb on Wednesday about being none too pleased with the way Kathy Griffin exited Fashion Police.

“That was very personal,” Rivers added. “But as a professional, that was her choice, that’s what she did. No harm, no foul, moving on.” …

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Sony conjuring up 'The Craft’ remake

We feel you, Nancy.

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We feel you, Nancy.

Sixth-grade me is excited. The rest of me, nope.

According to the Hollywood Reporter, Sony is jumping on the remake train to reincarnate 1996 teen thriller The Craft. You know, the one that made all the less-than-mainstream private school girls of the ’90s desperately want to become witches, which mainly entailed burning incense in our bedrooms while wearing black eye liner and playing light as a feather, stiff as a board.

“Up-and-coming” horror filmmaker Leigh Janiak will write and direct, and one of the original producers will co-produce the remake. Here’s hoping this goes better than Jem and the Holograms, because wow, what a terrible trailer.

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So Jon Gosselin only wants that one kid, apparently

Contrary to popular belief, this photo was not taken a decade ago.

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Contrary to popular belief, this photo was not taken a decade ago.

Since Jon Gosselin has pretty much lost all battles when it comes to his Jon and Kate Plus 8 family, the former reality star has resorted to asking for full custody of just one of his Plus 8s.

According to Us Weekly, Gosselin is seeking custody of his 11-year-old daughter Hannah. No word on why it’s just the one child, but we imagine this scenario will play our more and more often as the kids enter their teen years. “Fine! I’ll just go live with dad!”

And that is all the space we will to devote to this dramz.

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Kim Richards charged after drunken Beverly Hills rampage

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Looks like there’s room for more than one Real Housewife in the criminal justice system.

Kim Richards is facing multiple charges after getting far too wasted in Beverly Hills last month. According to TMZ, the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills cast member was “distraught” after watching the reunion shows and decided to get hammered at the Beverly Hills Hotel. She was kicked out of a restaurant there and dragged out of a bathroom by police. When they took her to the pokey, she kicked an officer.

Richards tried to make nice by completing the seemingly obligatory rehab stint, but the L.A. County District Attorney decided to charge her with public intoxication, resisting arrest and battery on a police officer.

Richards could face up to 2 1/2 years in jail. But hey, maybe she and Teresa Giudice can make a reunion show of their very own.

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