Ashton Kutcher will be replacing Charlie Sheen on 'Two and a Half Men'
UPDATE: CBS has finally decided what to do about the Charlie Sheen conundrum concerning Two and a Half Men -- and that's to hire Ashton Kutcher to replace him. Well, it was nice knowing you, Alan.
After the Hollywood Reporter said final touches are being put on a deal to put the actor back on TV, the AP reports the network confirmed it Friday. There were no indications of the salary, but it's said to be a "huge payday" for Kutcher (TMZ noted it's about half the $900,000 per episode Sheen made). Because that's what the guy needs, see.
"I can't replace Charlie Sheen but I'm going to work my ass off to entertain the hell out of people," Kutcher said. Kutcher spilled the beans late Thursday, tweeting via @aplusk, "what's the square root of 6.25?". Man, we barely made it out of Algebra 2 back in high school, so give us a break and just say 2.5, okay?
Sheen himself wished Ashton luck, telling TMZ, "Kutcher is a sweetheart and a brilliant comedic performer ... Oh wait, so am I!!" He then implied the ratings were going to hit the floor once the rebooted show is back on the air. "Enjoy the show America. Enjoy seeing a 2.0 in the demo every Monday, WB. Enjoy planet Chuck, Ashton. There is no air, laughter, loyalty, or love there." Well, not for you, Charlie.
Creator Chuck Lorre figured out a way to change the storyline to get Ashton in there, a move made after Hugh Grant reportedly passed on the show (we can only imagine the lame British-relative-moves-in storyline they were concocting).
"We are so lucky to have someone as talented, joyful and just plain remarkable as Ashton joining our family," said Lorre, also the show's executive producer. "Added to that is the deep sigh of relief knowing that our family stays together. If I was any happier, it'd be illegal."
Well of course he's happy. Now people will stop asking him whether the show is going to come back at all. Instead of going out on top in a blaze of glory, it'll wither and die like any other sitcom.
[Photo: Getty Images]