• Following her inconclusive autopsy, the body of Johnson & Johnson heiress (and one-time future Mrs. Tila Tequila) Casey Johnson will be flown east for a private funeral, a family spokesman told the AP on Wednesday. Camera crews are standing by.

• Gary Coleman was rushed to an L.A. hospital on Wednesday after apparently suffering from a seizure, TMZ reports. He must have finally realized his latest project is a show called Midgets vs. Mascots (not making that up, btw).

• Mariah Carey was apparently drunk while accepting a breakthough actress award at the Palm Springs International Film Festival, slurring her words and acting loopy on Tuesday night, the AP reports. How could the audience even tell?

[Photo: We'll refer to it as "The Intoxication of Mimi." Getty Images]

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