Christian Bale will not face assault charges
Britain's Crown Prosecution Services, which sounds a bit like Burger King's legal branch, has said that Batman big shot Christian Bale won't face charges in an alleged assault against his mother and sister, the AP reports. This gripping investigation brought to you by the same people who can't put Amy Winehouse in rehab or Pete Doherty in jail.
There was insufficient evidence to afford a "realistic prospect of conviction," the authorities said, and implied that mom and sis may have recanted their wild tale by saying "it is important that the views of complainants are also taken into account when making decisions in such cases."
It's also important to remember the circumstantial evidence that is sounds like Bale's family tried to mooch a few Gs off their famous kin, who then got into a well-deserved shouting match about how they should get their own dosh. But The Juice* is just biased because we would be convicted of verbal assault five days a week.
[Photo: Getty Images]