Fantasia Barrino says overdose was no accident
Fantasia Barrino admits her recent overdose on aspirin and a sleeping aid was no accident, and that she was trying to kill herself, she tells VH1. She has her manager to thank for being rescued before she came to any permanent harm.
"I didn't have any fight in me. I didn't care about anything. I just wanted out," the 26-year-old says in a new Behind the Music airing Tuesday, People reports. "At that moment, I wanted out. I wanted it to be over with – all of it. ... I just sat in the closet and looked at the mirror and took all the pills in the bottle. I wanted to go to sleep and just be at peace. I knew exactly what I was doing. You can't accidentally take a whole bottle of pills."
Manager Brian Dickens says he checked on her after she texted "I love you" to him, raising his suspicions.
"I wrote, 'You better not do anything or think about doing anything stupid.' And I left it at that," he said. "About 10 minutes later, Fantasia texted me back, and she said, 'Already did.' I went into Fantasia's room and saw her on the floor, and my heart just dropped."
The American Idol winner's new album, Back To Me, is also being released on Tuesday. Now she'll be able to celebrate it, hopefully without feeling any pressure about her affair with Antwaun Cook, which caused this whole mess.
"I realized how people end up in the grave," she said. "Because that one moment (snaps her fingers) of just breaking or feeling like I can't, I can't go on, it's too heavy. That was somewhere I don't ever want to go again."
[Photo: Getty Images]