• Nicole Richie not visiting her mom in the hospital after she had a hysterectomy. We don’t need more reasons to hate Nicole Richie.

• MTV fretting about a possible catfight between Cameron Diaz and Jessica Beal. It’s called creating phony PR buzz, and most people have to pay for it, so no thanks.

• Lindsay Lohan’s dad Michael saying he wants to intervene in his daughter’s shame spiral. Because it freaks us out that ex-con Mike may be the sane one in the family.

• John Mayer and Jessica Simpson getting back together. We’re so over that.