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More Britney madness than you can handle

15

August

Tbdallure081607 The gossip rags have levelled both barrels at Britney Spears, to the point where no one can tell what’s real and what’s not anymore (especially when you consider how Photoshopped the new cover to Allure is reported to be). To wit:

“She drinks in front of the kids,” a former staffer tells Us. “At first, the drinks would help her loosen up and not be so angry. But she’d inevitably drink too much and be out of it, at which point the nannies would take care of the kids.” Apparently she also strips down in front of people asking “Do I look sexy? Do I look pretty?”

That may explain why Ok! reports Brit’s recent tryst with Matt Encinias didn’t end as we’ve heard, but rather with her former assistant Shannon Funk. “Instead of hooking up with him, (Shannon) ended up back in Brit’s room and bed,” a spy says (the surely reliable source of porn star Tera Patrick said the poptard even hit on Jenna Jameson). But that didn’t stop Funk and bodyguard Daimon Shippen from being served with subpeonas by Kevin Federline to discuss the girl’s insance lifestyle, as People reports.

Meanwhile, Star is leading with the headline “Britney tells her kids they were mistakes.” Frankly, that one’s pretty believable, because they probably were. And hey, if she’s giving them Coca-Cola in their baby bottles and slapping teeth-whitening strips on ’em, why bother to lie about their conception? After all, the National Equirer says there's security cam footage of Brit beating Kevin with a frying pan.

And finally, the New York Daily News is spreading the rumor that Spears is planning a “surprise” performance at the MTV Video Music Awards Sept. 9 in Las Vegas, saying her label is worried it’s a make-or-break moment. To tell the truth, Bratney done broke her career not too long after she sunk into this alcohol-fueled crazy race with Lindsay Lohan after dumping K-Fed.

[Last modified: Tuesday, May 25, 2010 9:18am]

    

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