OMG! What do we have to do to get justice?
Can you believe this? Paris Hilton has been "reassigned" (as in, technically not released) from her 96-square-foot jail cell to house arrest just after 2 a.m. Pacific time this morning due to medical reasons, TMZ reports.
The too-rich and too-thin jailbird was fitted for an ankle bracelet due to medical reasons, the L.A. County Sheriff's Dept. said. We'd all like to know what that condition is, since starving to death from not eating jail food isn't a medical condition (the New York Post reports she hasn't been eating much, poor baby), but officials wouldn't elaborate, citing confidentiality laws. No doubt shrink Charles Sophy had something to do with this. Hey Paris, Jack Kevorkian is now out of jail if you need a second opinion.
Hilton will be under house arrest in her West Hollywood home for 40 days, and while that would be punishment enough for most of us, keep in mind she'll have a 3,000-to-4,000-foot radius of freedom. And how this roughly 72-hour stint counts as five days, we'll never know.
Her new lockup is a 2,700-square-foot, four-bedroom, three-bathroom, Spanish-style home on .14 acres above the Sunset Strip, the AP says.
NOON UPDATE: In a file obtained by the Web site, Sheriff's spokesman Steve Whitmore lists the official reasoning for reassignment:
"After extensive consultation with Los Angeles County medical personnel, including doctors at the Century Regional Detention Facility, it has been determined that Paris Hilton will be reassigned to the Community-Based Alternatives to Custody: the CBAC program.
"Ms. Hilton has been fitted with an electronic monitoring device and will serve the remainder of her sentence confined to her home. She will now serve the full 45 day sentence. Ms. Hilton has been in custody for five days and therefore will be serving 40 days in the Electronic Monitoring Program under the supervision of the Los Angeles County Probation Department."
2 P.M. UPDATE: Officials say Hilton's condition was mental (doy), citing psychiatrist Charles Sophy's prognosis that Paris was in danger of having a mental breakdown, TMZ reports. If by that he means she suffered from depression, we'd think she would be depressed, since she was in jail. That's what jails do!
Of course, People magazine quotes a source about Hilton's nerve-wracking stay in the cooler.
"She cries all day," the spy told the magazine. "She looks unwashed, she has no makeup and her hair is tangled. She cried audibly through the first two nights."
What's interesting is Dr. Sophy used this excuse as the same reason Paris couldn't stand trial for allegedly slandering rich kid Zeta Graph (for badmouthing the diamond heiress in the New York Post), telling the judge that Hilton was "emotionally distraught and traumatized" over her sentencing. That trial will convene in August. Perhaps this was the strategy all along ...
And it's also a far cry from what Entertainment Tonight is reporting. ET says "sources close to the Hilton family" claim the real reason was a mysterious rash Paris had on her body. We can only guess as to what sort of malady would cause this kind of a breakout.
2:30 P.M. UPDATE: From TMZ:
Richard A. Hutton, attorney for Paris Hilton, today issued the following statement on behalf of Ms. Hilton.
"I want to thank the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department and staff of the Century Regional Detention Center for treating me fairly and professionally. I am going to serve the remaining 40 days of my sentence. I have learned a great deal from this ordeal and hope that others have learned from my mistakes."
3:30 P.M. UPDATE: Apparently L.A. County Supervisor Don Knabe is none too happy with the liberation of Paris.
"This incident with Paris Hilton is just the most recent that highlights the problems our criminal justice system has with making sure sentences stick, whether it is in a county jail or under electronic monitoring," he says on TMZ.
We think there's going to be plenty more of an uproar as this goes on, especially since when Superior Court Judge Michael T. Sauer sentenced her on May 4, he ruled she would not be allowed any work release, furloughs or use of an alternative jail or electronic monitoring in lieu of jail.
More details as they develop.
[Photo illustration: AP, The Juice*]