Ridiculous news items
• That Swedish couple who wanted to name their 7-month-old daughter Metallica can go ahead, the AP reports. And that daughter can live a long, miserable life.
• Madonna’s people say the Material Girl has no plans to adopt more children, ContactMusic.com says. Definitely. Probably. Most likely. As far as we can tell.
• Jessica Alba is making $5-million for her Revlon contract, the New York Post says. That’s a lot of money for an invisible woman.
• The Hollywood Reporter says Lawrence Fishburne will portray the voice of the Silver Surfer in the sequel to Fantastic Four. The whole time we’ll be imagining him asking us whether we want to take the blue pill or the red pill.