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Jaleel White responds to ex-girlfriend's abuse allegations

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We remember erstwhile Urkel Jaleel White's little domestic dispute from 2010, but since he never went to jail, it sounded like everything worked out. But considering ex-girlfriend Bridget Hardy just told Star all about the incident, claiming he verbally and physically abused her, it doesn't seem all has been forgiven.

Hardy, the mother of the couple's 2-year-old daughter Samaya, told the mag "he hit me across the chest area," and noted "he pushed me into the toilet, and it broke." She also reveals she found evidence he was cheating on her in his cellphone, and insulted her by saying, "He told me I'm not working; I have no money; I'm white trash. None of it was true." That's not exactly the picture of White we have in our heads.

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Madonna's Truth or Dare fragrance ad shows too much cleavage for ABC

The Mouse House is not amused with Madonna's new commercial for her Truth or Dare fragrance are way too sinful to show on ABC. Truth or Dare? What is this, 1991?

The New York Post reports the 30-second black-and-white ad show too much T&A for the network, which is owned by Disney. Executives has ordered her corset and fishnets be digitally covered up before they'll run the commercial, which we've conveniently provided for you above, so you, too, can be offended by 50-year-old boobs.

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The 'Mad Men' theme, sung a cappella

Because it's only a couple days until Sunday, when 3 million people will tell the other 300 million of us how good this show is, and we still won't watch it. Saying that just makes it worse, actually.

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Carson Daly offends gays, then apologizes right away

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Carson Daly screwed up royally by making fun of gay folks on his radio show while discussing a recent altercation aboard a JetBlue flight in which the pilot had to be restrained. But don't worry, because he issued the requisite apology already. We're all cool now, right?

While talking about the case of Clayton Frederick Osbon, the captain of JetBlue flight 191 who was charged Wednesday with interfering with a flight crew when he pounded on the door of the cockpit and screamed over the radio before passengers tackled him so the flight could be diverted to Amarillo, Texas. And there's good reason those people could do that.

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Rihanna won't talk about Ashton Kutcher rumors

One of the things you may not know about Rihanna is that she's in the upcoming movie Battleship, which is based on the board game but somehow got lots of CGI aliens in it. So she was in London this week promoting it when a journalist dared to ask about the Ashton Kutcher rumors. Did the reporter escape with her life?

"You're so good with connecting with people, that I think that we actually feel we know you," the reporter asked (watch it above). "Things are clearly going brilliantly in your career. I just wondered if you are as happy in your private life. Will we be seeing a certain Mr. Ashton Kutcher perhaps making a trip over here?"

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Lindsay Lohan is officially off probation

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The Juice* knows this is surprising, but Lindsay Lohan is now officially off probation. As in, she completed the terms of her probation and is now a free woman. Well, almost free, anyway.

Judge Stephanie Sautner agreed in court Thursday to let Lohan go on informal probation, meaning she has to obey every law on the books for the next two and a half years. That's usually not a problem for most folks, but this is Lindsay Dee Lohan we're talking about here. "I know it's kinda hard when people are following you all over the place ... but that's the life you chose," Sautner told LiLo, according to TMZ. She also gave the unsolicited but sound advice, "Stop nightclubbing and focus on your work."

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Bobby Brown faces drunken driving charges, six months in jail

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To catch you up on that Bobby Brown arrest, he has been officially charged with drunken driving, which should come as no surprise to anyone who has ever read anything about Bobby Brown. He could get up to six months in jail if he's convicted, something that's sure to happen when you're caught drunk behind the wheel at noon.

Billboard.com says the singer, who had a blood alcohol level of more than 0.08 percent, faces two misdemeanor charges of DUI, plus driving on a suspended license. He failed a sobriety test after being pulled over for talking on a cellphone without a hands-free device. He goes back to court on April 16.

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Will Ferrell confirms he's making 'Anchorman' sequel

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The big news all around the moviewebs this week is word that there will be a sequel to Will Ferrell's Anchorman. Where did we hear such a vicious rumor? Straight from the horse's mouth, natch.

"I want to announce this to everyone here in the Americas, to our friends in Spain, Turkey and the U.K. -- including England -- that as of 0900 mountain time, Paramount Pictures and myself, Ronald Joseph Aaron Burgundy, have come to terms on a sequel to Anchorman," Ferrell said on Conan O'Brien's TBS talk show Wednesday night. Nobody continued watching the show after that point, because they were calling and texting all their friends.

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Remember 'Quantum Leap'? Oh, boy.

I'm really wasting your time today, because here's 10 minutes with 100 of Dr. Beckett's best instances of saying "Oh boy." Because it's a retro kinda day, that's why.

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American Reunion's Chris Klein talks about alcoholism

tbd-chrisklein032912.jpgJust in time for American Reunion, actor Chris Klein is speaking out about why he fell apart after starring in Election and American Pie -- his devastating alcohol problem -- and how he overcame it. Don't be sad, it's a happy tale!

"I would have died, and I think about that every single day," the 33-year-old Nebraska boy tells People. "It got to the point where I was a fragile shadow of the young man that came into this business. Today, I'm the luckiest guy alive."

He was arrested for two DUIs and served a four-day jail sentence in California, but he's back, and he's 19 months sober. So now that we know Oz is okay, we just have to find out what Mena Suvari has been up to, besides making straight-to-video remakes of Day of the Dead.

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Megan Fox may be pregnant with Brian Austin Green's baby

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We'll lighten things up today with some baby news, so hey, guess what? Megan Fox might be pregnant! That's what Star says, anyway. Good to know she's involved in some sort of production.

If true (because no one has confirmed it), it will be her first child and husband Brian Austin Green's second -- he has a 10-year-old son named Kassius with Vanessa Marcil. "They just found out and are incredibly excited," a source told the mag of the unexpected pregnancy. "Megan has become a great stepmom, and Brian knows she'll be wonderful with the baby."

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Elderly couple harassed after Spike Lee retweets wrong Sanford address for Trayvon Martin shooter George Zimmerman

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There's more trouble in the Twitterverse, and Spike Lee is smack dab in the middle of an uproar over the mass-retweeting of the purported address of George Zimmerman, the neighborhood watch volunteer who shot Trayvon Martin (you may have heard of the case). Problem is, the address he retweeted from a follower, a Los Angeles man named Marcus Davonne Higgins, was actually the address of an aged Sanford couple who have absolutely nothing to do with the case.

The Orlando Sentinel reports that Seminole County school workers David McClain, who is 72, and Elaine McClain, a 70-year-old with a heart condition, have been getting death threats, hate mail, requests for interviews and are being picketed. This is because Higgins, who uses the Twitter handle @maccapone, sent out a tweet last Friday reading, "EVERYBODY REPOST THIS George W. Zimmerman 159 Edgewater Circle Sanford, Florida 32773" to tons of folks, including Will Smith, 50 Cent, LeBron James and Spike Lee. Lee did the responsible thing, of course, and retweeted it to 250,000 followers via @SpikeLee -- apparently the only celebrity to do so.

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Madonna, Deadmau5 quit fighting over 'Molly' comment

tbd-madonnadeadmau5032912.jpgIt figures Madonna would find a way to pick a fight with DJ and producer deadmau5 after her appearance at Miami's Ultra Music Festival on Saturday. It seems he took umbrage on Facebook at her use of the term "Molly" when introducing Avicii, to which she responded with a sarcastic twitpic. Oh good, an old-fashioned geekfight!

After Madge asked the crowd, "Has anyone here seen Molly?" (ostensibly as in "molecular," as in ecstasy -- watch it above), deadmau5 wrote a screed on his Facebook page asking, "That's your big contribution to EDM? Thats your big message to ultra attendies? hipsterspeak for looking for drugs? f--- off you f---ing IDIOT. f---." He followed with another reading, "very classy there madonna. "HUR DUR HAS ANYONE SEEN MOLLY???" such a great message for the young music lovers at ultra. quite the f'n philanthropist. but hey, at least yer HIP AND TRENDY! f---ing cant smack my head hard enough right now."

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Cast of 'Modern Family' prepares to ask for raise

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ABC's Modern Family may be getting a lot more expensive to produce, as word is the six adult cast members are preparing to band together to make a ton more money by renegotiating their contracts for the show's fourth season. Winning 11 Emmys in one year will do that.

The Hollywood Reporter says Julie Bowen, Ty Burrell, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Eric Stonestreet and Sofia Vergara want a significant bump up from their $65,000-per-episode deal, which was already increased once after the cast rocked the Emmys (Stonestreet was making $20,000 the first two years before his win). Sources say they could be asking for as much as $200,000 per episode, a drop in the bucket, considering the show brought in $164 million in ad revenue last year.

Ed O'Neill, mind you, already makes about $105,000 each week, which is the windfall you can expect by being the big-name actor on a fledgling show. Good thing Craig T. Nelson passed to go be on Parenthood, huh, Ed?

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If 'Angry Birds' had been made in 1982 ...

... it probably would have looked like this.

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