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Kermit the Frog has a new girlfriend, and she looks like a Kardashian

DENISE.

ABC

DENISE.

This whole world is falling apart.

We told you how Kermit and Miss Piggy split up back in August. Well, it's been one whole month and Kermit already has a Kardashain-looking jezebel at his side. His new girlfriend is named "Denise." And we're all like, GIANT EYE ROLL.

The ABC Muppets account tweeted her picture today, and she looks like a plastic surgery version of Miss Piggy. BUT, we must be fair. We know nothing about Denise, and she could be perfectly nice, and it is anti-feminist to immediately turn our disappointment in Kermit toward the new woman in his life. But the second she takes us on a televised tour inside her personal closet of workout pants, we're done.

(This is obviously all really smart marketing for the The Muppets, which premieres at 8 p.m. EST Sept. 22.)

 

 

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Google uploads new logo, changes our lives forever

Google.com

Today's Google doodle features a new logo for the enormous tech company. And straight outta the Google playbook, it's innovative, colorful and fun. They announced the change on their blog. Because Google is everywhere from your desktop to the tiny screen on your phone — their new branding effort focuses on versatility.

"For example, new elements like a colorful Google mic help you identify and interact with Google whether you're talking, tapping or typing. Meanwhile, we're bidding adieu to the little blue 'g' icon and replacing it with a four-color 'G' that matches the logo."

I'm a graphic designer here at the Times, and a little font-sessive, so let me put my Studio Arts degree to good use and discuss the new logo.

Colors: They're the same primary colors we've all come to know and love, just a little less bright. Blue, yellow, green and red make us feel happy, childlike and full of wonder. When we ask "How long until my water boils?" or "Will my cat love me?" we don't feel as stupid. …

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Bachelor in Paradise, Season 2, Week 5 - Entrances and exits

Joe answered the door, saw the flaming bag and really stepped on it this week. 

If a woman who kissed you, hugged you, and cuddled with you for two days could be pursuaded to leave you during a single conversation, she played you. Sorry about it, man. 

Dan had been saying he was interested in Sam but was too cowardly to act until he absolutely needed a rose. Sam, sensing a chance to save her image, gave Dan her rose, making Joe the only guy eliminated this week. Chris Bukowski, two time cast member of The Bachelorette, and also of Bachelor Pad, made his second appearance on Bachelor in Paradise only to drink for an entire day, drunkenly ask out Tenley, be rejected and bow out of the contest. …

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The Girl With the Unnecessary Sequel

Noomi Rapace played hacker Lisbeth Salander in the 2009 version of "The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo."

Photo by Knut Koivisto

Noomi Rapace played hacker Lisbeth Salander in the 2009 version of "The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo."

If you loved Stieg Larsson's Millennium trilogy like I did, you might be disapppointed in David Lagercrantz's The Girl in the Spider's Web. Punk hacker and avenging angel Lisbeth Salander gets too little ink, and Mikael Blomkvist is now a big old Mary Sue.

Read a review of the book here.

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'Fear the Walking Dead,' season 1 episode 2: L.A. sizzles

Alicia is left to deal with her brother's withdrawal symptoms while Madison is fending off zombie principals.

AMC

Alicia is left to deal with her brother's withdrawal symptoms while Madison is fending off zombie principals.

For those unimpressed with Fear's premiere episode -- citing too much family drama and not enough gore -- episode two sure brought the heat. We still got the family drama -- Nick's drug withdrawal, Travis' indifferent son, Alicia refusing to leave her fevered boyfriend -- but with more zombies and a roller coaster of chaos.

The plan is set: grab the kids and run for the desert.

Disbelief still runs rampant among all the characters, save Nick and Tobias, who is clearly misunderstood. Driving away from the scene of Calvin's grisly demise, Nick fiddles with the radio while Travis and Madison try desperately to contact their other children. Alicia calls from Matt's house, where he is sick with a 103 degree fever and a festering bite on his shoulder (though Alicia doesn't know this detail).

Madison and Travis find Alicia caring for a sickly, sweating Matt. When Alicia leaves the room to fetch more water, Travis pulls back Matt's shirt to reveal a swollen bite wound. Matt convinces Alicia to leave with her parents, and she spends the rest of the night trying to check in on him. …

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MTV Video Music Awards: Taylor Swift reigns, Kanye West rambles and Miley Cyrus shocks (in a good way!)

Taylor Swift and Nicki Minaj opened the 2015 MTV Video Music Awards with a medley including "The Night is Still Young" and "Bad Blood."

Taylor Swift and Nicki Minaj opened the 2015 MTV Video Music Awards with a medley including "The Night is Still Young" and "Bad Blood."

Serious question: Was what transpired on our TV sets Sunday night the MTV Video Music Awards, or a Taylor Swift concert?

The cavalcade of celebrities, the glitztacularly glittery fashions, the endless shots of your girl interjecting herself into someone else’s dance party – this year’s VMAs had all the trappings of one of Taylor’s recent tour gigs. It was a night orchestrated to please Swift and her Swifties in all their hive-mind glory.

Kanye West may have received the Video Vanguard Award – with onetime nemesis Taylor introducing him, natch – but this still felt a little like a Kennedy Center tribute to the reigning Queen of Pop, never more so than when Swift won Video of the Year for her star-studded mini-film Bad Blood.

"Thank you from the bottom of my heart," Swift said in her acceptance speech, flanked by living, breathing A-list accessories like Selena Gomez, Cara Delevigne and Hailee Steinfeld. "I know there’s been a lot of discussion about this video and what it means, but I’m just happy that in 2015, we live in a world where boys can play princesses, and girls can play soldiers." Full Story

Top 5 movie-based theme park attractions besides 'Fast & Furious’

Universal Orlando will open a new ride based on the popular Fast & Furious movies. The ride, Fast & Furious: Supercharged, is slated to open some time in 2017.

Universal Orlando Resort

Universal Orlando will open a new ride based on the popular Fast & Furious movies. The ride, Fast & Furious: Supercharged, is slated to open some time in 2017.

With the news that the Fast & Furious franchise is getting its own theme park treatment as a ride at Universal Studios, let's take a look at the rest of the theme park attractions that we have thanks to Hollywood.  Film critic Matt Singer of ScreenCrush once smartly observed that theme park attractions are "a perfect microcosm of modern Hollywood, where family-friendly 3-D escapism and the potential for merchandise sales are the only things that matter."

Cynicism aside, here are my top five theme park attractions that got their start in the movies, and feel free to tell me I'm wrong or point out what I overlooked in the comments section:

The Wizarding World of Harry Potter: The game changer in the theme park scene is not just a ride that makes you feel like you are flying around Hogwarts, it's two whole sections of two Universal Orlando theme parks that are an immersion into J.K. Rowling's imagination. From cold draughts of Butterbeer to a ride on the Hogwarts Express between to the two theme parks, muggles can pretend for a little while that they are part her world. …

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Tonight's 'Mr. Robot' finale postponed due to similarity to Virginia on-air killings

USA Network

USA Network has postponed tonight's season finale of Mr. Robot for one week because the episode includes a scene that shares similarities with the tragic on-air killings that occurred Wednesday morning in Roanoke, Va.

“Out of respect to the victims, their families and colleagues, and our viewers, we are postponing tonight’s episode," USA told Variety in a statement. "Our thoughts go out to all those affected during this difficult time."

The final episode of the hacker-centric thriller's debut season is now scheduled for Wednesday, Sept. 2, at its regular time of 10 p.m. USA will air last week's episode to fill tonight's slot.

Early this morning, a reporter and cameraman for WDJB-TV were shot and killed by a former co-worker during a live broadcast. The co-worker fled the scene, posted video of the shooting on social media, then fatally shot himself.

USA decided to hold off on airing the episode because the finale starring Rami Malek and Christian Slater “contains a graphic scene similar in nature to today’s tragic events in Virginia.”

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Brando, Vidal/Buckley docs opening at Tampa Theatre

Listen to Me MarloBrando's personal photos and recordings inform Listen to Me Marlon

Passion Pictures

Listen to Me MarloBrando's personal photos and recordings inform Listen to Me Marlon

One of the most frustrating things about this job is enduring exhibitors, bookers, distributors and their publicists, who are entrusted with the visions of artists and moviegoers' tastes, then treat them with such low respect.

Cases in point: Two well-reviewed (elsewhere) documentaries opening Friday at Tampa Theatre but somewhere along the marketing line no one thought to let the media know in time to effectively spread the word.

Listen to Me Marlon (unrated) uses hundreds of hours of Marlon Brando's personal, tape-recorded diaries to create what has been termed "a superbly crafted collage" by Variety. Certainly movie buffs will be interested.

Playing in rotation with the Brando documentary is Best of Enemies (R), a documentary recalling the nationally televised debates in 1968 between intellectuals and political opposites Gore Vidal and William F. Buckley. Variety called it "provocative as an account of what arguably was an early step in the decline of political discourse on television."

In other words, we can blame either Fox News and Bill Maher on these guys, depending upon your political leaning. …

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Bachelor in Paradise, Season 2, Week 4 - Ben H. will be back in January!

Take a long look, America. You'll be able to spend two hours a week with that mug in January.

ABC

Take a long look, America. You'll be able to spend two hours a week with that mug in January.

So, Bachelor in Paradise was really interesting this week. But who cares?

Ben Higgins is The Bachelor! (Breaks into victory dance. Pops cork on an $8 bottle of champagne.)

They tried to trick us. No one was fooled. Ben H. has been anointed since the moment he galloped on horseback over the lush green fields of Ireland and strutted into the castle of our hearts. 

He was so sweet, smart and open to expressing his fears that you couldn't help but root for the guy to find love. I mean, his last beak up made him wonder if he was unlovable. Who hasn't been there?

Welcome into America's loving bosom, Ben. We'll commence questioning your judgment as a parade of eligible women who probably wanted to meet you but also really waned to be on TV tamp down their crazy for long enough to woo you. 

I guess we still have to talk about Week 4 of Bachelor in Paradise though, so here goes. 

Joe. Bwahahahahahahahahaha.

Seriously, it was awful what happened to him but hard to feel bad. He ruthlessly pursued love and found out too late he was chasing a shark and not a tuna.  …

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'Fear the Walking Dead' series premiere: the slow burn

Nick Clark sprints away from the blood-soaked drug den/abandoned church.

AMC

Nick Clark sprints away from the blood-soaked drug den/abandoned church.

It all started with Gloria.

She's the first person Nick Clark yells for when he wakes up in a junkie drug den wearing a white, cropped cardigan. But instead of finding his friends sipping coffee and munching on bagels, Nick finds one with his throat ripped out and Gloria snacking on another unnamed friend like it was a free brunch buffet.

Nick bolts, sprinting as fast as his lanky legs and cardigan cape will let him. Then he gets hit by a car. What a terrible way to wake up with a drug-induced hangover.

And so it begins.

Sunday's premiere of Fear the Walking Dead gave us the chaos and tension of the unknown. Dead superfans, e.g. me, already know what's going on, what's going to happen, the proper way to kill a walker, etc.

But Fear gives us those terrifying details of society's collapse. It ignited the flame that slowly burns until it consumes all that our civilization takes for granted and cherishes. The little bites of information keep us on our toes. …

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Eckerd College's International Cinema Series announces fall lineup

Eckerd College's Intl. Cinema Series begins Sept. 11 with 'When Marnie Was There'

nababa.deviantart.com

Eckerd College's Intl. Cinema Series begins Sept. 11 with 'When Marnie Was There'

One of the relatively hidden gems of Tampa Bay's movie culture is the International Cinema Series conducted at Eckerd College in St. Petersburg.

Founded by professor Nathan Andersen, the series goes beyond art house and multiplex programming to bring local cineastes some of the world's most obscure yet important independent cinema. This year's lineup is no exception.

Ten films are scheduled for the fall season, from Japan, South Korea, Mexico, Estonia, Canada, Spain, China and India.

"There’s something for everyone in this lineup and it’s incredibly diverse,” Andersen said in a news release. "The films are global in scope and ambitious...

"Some of the films are very straightforward and compelling stories of people in different places. Others, like Guy Maddin’s Forbidden Room or Peter Greenaway’s Eisenstein in Guanajuato, really attempt to push the boundaries of what can be done artistically in cinema.”

Admission is free to all screenings, which begin at 7 p.m. in the Dan and Mary Miller Auditorium on the Eckerd campus. (Andersen likes pointing out that this is the only theater located in south St. Petersburg.)

This season's lineup includes: …

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Shows you should be watching: 'Hindsight' on VH1

Don't you just want to be besties with these two? Laugh with Becca and Lolly on VH1's rom-com "Hindsight."

VH1

Don't you just want to be besties with these two? Laugh with Becca and Lolly on VH1's rom-com "Hindsight."

We've all thought about second chances. What if I could start over? What if I didn't get that perm? What if I married Rob Lowe?

VH1's adorable new show Hindsight is a romantic comedy wrapped in the best '90s nostalgia and explores those questions. (We'd probably still get that perm, though.)

Hindsight stars Laura Ramsey as Becca. She's 40 and about to embark on a second marriage with her childhood friend; however, she isn't feeling that spark in her relationship or about her life. Present day, on the eve of the wedding she is thrown back to 1995. She wakes up on the morning of her first wedding to Sean, a struggling artist who, despite his sexy ponytail and bedroom talents, never fully satisfied her. In the first episode, she decides this is her chance to make different choices and fully embrace a new life. And over the rest of the nine episodes, Becca realizes how those decisions not only affect her life, but her friends' and family's as well.

This time travel premise is nothing new, I know. But somehow this show feels fresh. And oh-so-loveable. …

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Get ready: 'Fear The Walking Dead' promises chaos, tension and just enough bite

The Clark/Manawa family -- Madison, Travis, Alicia and Nick.

AMC

The Clark/Manawa family -- Madison, Travis, Alicia and Nick.

We are just two days away from the premiere of AMC's zombie apocalypse spinoff show Fear the Walking Dead.

via GIPHY


Set at the very beginning of the outbreak of the virus (microbe? mutation?), Fear gives us the full tour of society's breakdown once the sick die then come back to snack on the living.

Though this is the universe that encompasses The Walking Dead, Fear gives us a fresh landscape and characters not based on Robert Kirkman's famous comics. Instead of the small towns and backwoods of Georgia, we get the bustling urban jungle of Los Angeles. The characters in Dead flee overrun cities for the just-a-bit-safer wooded areas. Fear's trailer shows the focus family split and struggling to find a safe place to bunker down inside the quickly deteriorating city.

Only time will tell if Los Angeles becomes the next post-apocalyptic Atlanta.

via GIPHY …

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Important theories about Saturday's Unauthorized Full House Story on Lifetime

(L to R) Blaise Todd (Michelle Tanner), Shelby Armstrong (DJ Tanner), Justin Mader (Joey Gladstone), Garrett Brawith (Danny Tanner), Justin Gaston (Jesse Katsopolis) and Dakota Guppy (Stephanie Tanner) star in the all-new Lifetime movie, The Unauthorized Full House Story, premiering Saturday at 8 p.m.

Lifetime

(L to R) Blaise Todd (Michelle Tanner), Shelby Armstrong (DJ Tanner), Justin Mader (Joey Gladstone), Garrett Brawith (Danny Tanner), Justin Gaston (Jesse Katsopolis) and Dakota Guppy (Stephanie Tanner) star in the all-new Lifetime movie, The Unauthorized Full House Story, premiering Saturday at 8 p.m.

Do you recognize the people in this photo?

Neither does anyone. These actors hoping to hang onto their SAG cards one more week are portraying the venerable Tanner family on Saturday's The Unauthorized Full House Story on Lifetime. Seeing as how Full House was the primary entertainment source of my formative years, and that Lifetime movies are the primary entertinment source of my adulting years, I'm dipping into the sports cliches and "ready to get out there and leave it all out on the floor, give it 110 percent, earn those goals I don't deserve." …

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