12 Blogs of Christmas: In Defense of Eggnog (w/video)
The 12 Blogs of Christmas, featuring stocking stuffer-sized holiday stories about pop culture and beyond, will run each weekday leading up to Christmas Eve. You can find all of them on The Feed blog.
There’s a scene in The Lion King — the greatest Disney movie ever — in which a young Simba eats a bug for the first time.
Encouraged by his friends and newfound guardians Timon and Pumbaa, Simba casts aside his normal diet of antelope and zebra carcasses for a life of eating bugs to survive. He’s hesitant at first. Eating an insect is in direct conflict with his existence as a lion — and wildly disgusting. And yet, as he timidly eats the bug, a grin slowly widens across his face and a gross experience turns pleasant.
“Slimy, yet satisfying,” he says as he swallows, his life changed forever.
This is exactly how I imagine the average skeptic’s experience unfolds when they drink the holiday classic, eggnog, for the first time. Or, at least, that’s how my experience went.
It’s a drink that sounds like it shouldn’t work. Raw whipped egg mixed with milk and sugar? It goes against my conventional thinking of what a solid beverage is supposed to be, and yet it’s so delicious.
The polarizing nature of eggnog didn’t become apparent to me until recently when I ventured into the hot take machine that is Twitter. Searching “eggnog is” reveals tweets that show just how split people are on the drink.
There are people who think “the best eggnog is no eggnog.” There are individuals who think the drink is “good for the soul.” Someone called the drink a conspiracy. Another said eggnog is a “scam by big chicken to off-load their excess eggs on the holidays,” before admitting that he, too, was purchasing a carton.
The drive to slander iconic holiday food and beverage on Twitter isn’t new. People are split on candy corn each Halloween, and cranberry sauce is dealt its blows each Thanksgiving. However, candy corn and cranberry sauce are actual abominations toward their respective holidays. Eggnog is a universal good.
It’s like if God himself personally made a carton of milk and said, “Here you go, Earth,” before wishing us all a happy holiday season.
I’ll admit I was skeptical of eggnog before my first glass a few Christmases ago. I would never drink raw eggs alone, so I imagined there was no way I would compromise my stance in the name of holiday cheer.
Yet, from the moment I finished that first glass, my life was opened to a new state of existence, much like Simba when he ate his first bug in The Lion King — which I reiterate is the greatest Disney movie of all time.
Nowadays, the possibilities of treats I can enjoy during the holiday season are limitless thanks to eggnog and its versatility. Eggnog is best served cold, but there’s no shame in heating it up. Spiked eggnog is a quality part of life. Southern Comfort eggnog and Southern Comfort liquor is to the holiday season what Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen were to basketball.
Eggnog and cookies go well together. There are even eggnog flavored cookies. And why stop there? There is eggnog ice cream, there are eggnog milkshakes, eggnog smoothies and, a personal favorite, eggnog lattes.
During the Christmas season, eggnog is truly the gift that keeps on giving. So save your hot cocoa and cider, spiked and otherwise. We live in a nog nation and it should be celebrated as the premier beverage of the holiday season.